Dealing With Conflict Quiz The following was adapted from Dr. Gottman's research. Using the scale below, please rate your agreement with each of the following statements in regard to your relationship: True Most of the Time Rarely True 1 2 3 4 During our attempts to resolve conflict . . . We are good at taking breaks when we need them. My partner usually accepts my apologies. I can say that I am wrong. I am pretty good at calming myself down. We can maintain a sense of humor. When my partner says we should talk to each other in a different way, it usually makes a lot of sense. My attempts to repair our discussions when they get negative are usually effective. We are pretty good listeners even when we have different positions on things. If things get heated, we can usually pull out of it and change things. My partner is good at soothing me when I get upset. I feel confident that we can resolve most issues between us. When I comment on how we could communicate better, my partner listens to me. Even if things get hard at times, I know we can get past our differences. We can be affectionate, even when we are disagreeing. Teasing and humor usually work to get my partner over negativity. We can start all over again and improve our discussion when needed. When emotions run hot, expressing how upset I feel makes a real difference. We can discuss even big differences between us. My partner expresses appreciation for the nice things I do. If I keep trying to communicate, it will eventually work out. Please click here for Scoring Instructions.