What do women want?

what do women want

Women really aren’t that complicated. Most of us – women included – believe that women are more complicated than men. But we’re not nearly as complicated as we seem.

Pretty much everything she wants from you – as even she would confess – has to do with her beliefs about one (or more) of the following three categories:

  • You don’t love and cherish me.
  • You don’t think I’m pretty.
  • You don’t value my feelings.

Bullet Point #1: Love and cherish her.

The first thing a woman wants is to know is that she’s more precious to you than anything else. No, she doesn’t want to run your life. She wants to know – by the reliability of your words and actions – that she’s always at the top. Her hope and prayer is that she runs a very close second to God.

You probably don’t realize just how important your opinion is to her. Despite how it may seem, much her self-esteem depends on what she thinks you think of her. Not what you actually think of her, but what she thinks you think of her. And she makes that determination based on your behavior – all you choose to do – or choose not do – in regard to her.

Bullet Point #2: Tell her she’s pretty.

This point’s the simplest one. Women spend a lot of time, energy, and money trying to look as just pretty as they can. And as she gets older, she’ll start doubting that she could still be attractive to the opposite sex.

If she’s already yours – or if you want her to be yours – you won’t want some other guy beating your time! So tell her yourself that she’s pretty and/or cute … on a daily basis!

Of course, you must be absolutely, positively sincere about whatever you say. Flattery is cheap and meaningless, and she’ll see right through it.

Don’t go there.
Trust me. It’s simply not worth the price.

Bullet Point #3: Just say you are sorry.

A woman’s feelings can get hurt very easily, especially by the man she loves. Her feelings are important, and she needs you to appreciate that about her. In fact, feelings are primary for “most women. When our feelings get hurt, we go into defensive mode. And everyone knows the best defense is a good offense.

So we often look and sound angry when, in fact, our feelings have been hurt. At that point, we’ll either withdraw or attack, depending on our emotional attachment style (See Chapter 9). Hurting her feelings is tantamount to Crushing Her Spirit. Nothing good can happen until Her Spirit has been revived. When you learn how to help her with that, you’ll reap rewards beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

And it only takes three steps:

  1. Notice that you hurt her feelings.
    That means you have to be paying attention, right?
  2. Then say, “I’m sorry” or “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
    (Note: Say nothing more. Say nothing less.)
  3. If she’s angry and/or yelling at you, you’ll need to say it at a distance.
    If she is crying, move in close and hold her hand or put your arm around her.
    Or if you’re not physically present, you can tell her you wish you were there to hold her hand or to put your arm around her. That works almost as well because this is one of those cases where it’s mostly the thought that counts.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • How often do you think men put something ahead of their wife?
  • How often do you think the average guy tells his wife she’s pretty?
  • What is a man’s usual response to tears? to anger?

Learn more now …

Conversing with The Serpent

My last post recounted the beginning of a story. We must understand the real reasons Lucifer had such an intense hatred for Eve.

He didn’t always look like the snake we know him to be today. I’m not sure The Serpent could have attracted Eve’s attention in that state. The Bible describes him as the most beautiful creature God had created. Until Eve, that is.

Lucifer been cast down from heaven due to his pride.
But he wasn’t cursed until he deceived Eve. GENESIS 3:1-6

Suddenly his outward appearance revealed his inward state:
The word ugly is an understatement.

And the serpent was the first to receive a curse.

So The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,
Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel.” GENESIS 3:14-15

Being Beautiful

Someone wants you & your family destroyed. He hates you because you are everything he is not:

  • You are created in the image of God.
  • You are a creative life-giver.
  • You are beautiful.

And because he knows his doom is sure.

Before The Beginning, Lucifer was the most beautiful and powerful of all created beings. But he took credit for what had been given him by his Creator. He didn’t want to take orders. He wanted to give them.

In his pride, he thought himself above God.
And, thus, he sealed his own fate.

He was cast down from heaven to earth when it was still without form & void.
As Lucifer watched, God created the earth from nothing.

I wonder what he thought as he saw Adam
being created in the image of God
to rule over earth & sea.

Then Eve. The Beautiful Crown of Creation.
Formed from Adam’s flesh. Also in God’s image.
Revealing a glorious Beauty that Adam didn’t possess.

Equal to Adam, but distinctly different,
Eve was fashioned to reign with her beloved.

But then she engaged in conversation
with a beautiful creature she met in The Garden.

… to be continued.

Guard Your Heart

King Solomon’s Book of Wisdom instructs us to guard our hearts. So what does that look like from a Kingdom perspective? Here are a few items to remember as we consider the possibilities:

  • First we must know who our enemy actually is.
  • Then we must be aware of the ways he attacks our own hearts.
  • Finally we must learn how to thwart his attacks and protect our families.

Dearest Heavenly Father,

Take me deeper into the Truth of who I am. Because before I can know what I am created to do, I must know who I am created to be. Teach me to look into the eyes of Jesus where I will see a reflection of the woman I’m known as in Heaven. I know the real me will always be that woman to you, now & forever. But I want to manifest Heaven’s perspective of me in the here-and-now and thereby impact the earth with Thy-Kingdom-Has-Come today.

You have called me Beautiful. Show me what that looks like, Lord. Let’s Heaven’s reality soak every atom, every particle of my physical being. Flood my soul with Your goodness and wash out the filth the enemy deposited in the vulnerable places of my heart, and fill me with Your light. Flavor my personality with the Beauty of Your indwelling spirit.

I am forever Yours.

[callout]Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23[/callout]

A Quick Turnaround

God's Goodness leads to repentance

How quickly and easily You can turn me around, Papa. I woke up this morning wondering how I could make it through today. Then I thanked You for the Beautiful Dream You gave to me. And the Amazing Possibilities You have shown me for my life. I mean AMAZING! And my mood lifted instantly. You, Lord, are Irresistible!

Nonetheless, I am aware that – in the natural world – I am nowhere near any of that. Even so, my spirit quickens when I think of Your Goodness. Your Everlasting Kindness.

One thought led to another, and I remembered my walks on the Peninsula the summer of 2011. I’d march two miles up the shoreline, recounting all the reasons this would never work. My resolve was firm. I would protect myself. No one would ever hurt me again. I determined to erect a wall strong enough to protect myself from my own vulnerability.

The Repentance of Elizabeth BennetBut somehow, as soon as I made the Turnaround and headed back down the beach, all of my thoughts – and even the direction of my feelings – changed. Suddenly. Effortlessly.

In the words of Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
they were “quite the opposite.”

In a moment’s time, I found myself composing a message. Words that would not only encourage, but also put myself out there a bit further. So much for self-protection.

[callout]My resistance had been completely undone
by Your persistently insistent desire to bless me.[/callout]

You and I went through the same routine everyday at the beach. You always won me over. And You hadn’t said a word. How did you do that?

The Beauty of Repentance

I know Your Word is Powerful. When You speak, something happens.

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12, NKJV)

But so is Your Spirit. And I suspect He is Your Method. Both then and now.

… Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6b, NKJV)

The Goodness of Your Presence always causes me to repent – to change my mind. And the Beauty of Repentance is being back in step with You.

Thank You, Papa, for Your Goodness. Your Kindness. Your Gentleness. Your Loving Heart that is ever focused on me as I’m learning to follow.

Always,
Your Beloved Daughter

[callout]Definition of repentance: Many understand the term repentance to mean “turning from sin.” This is not the biblical definition of repentance. In the Bible, the word repent means “to change one’s mind.”[/callout]

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