Meanwhile, back in the Garden …

Eve deceived

Picking up where we left off … Back in the Garden, the enemy is plotting to spoil God’s Creation. The Lord, of course, knows he’s there because even the enemy is a created being. An angel so impressed with himself – his own beauty, intelligence, power, and position – that he wanted all the glory and honor to go with it. That is, he had enough self-pride to believe he deserved to be God.

Cast from Heaven due to his arrogance, he lost his identity as a Morning Star, and became the Adversary – the enemy who seeks his revenge by distorting God’s created order.

Adam and Eve, however, are unaware of his presence.

So one day, the two of them are strolling through Paradise when they encounter the crafty serpent, who strikes up a conversation with Eve. The enemy knows that the primacy of her emotions will make her an easier target than Adam.

He said to the woman, “Did God really say,
‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

(Genesis 3:1b)

As it turns out, he is right about her. Eve is an easy mark. She replies that God said they can eat the fruit of any tree except the one in the middle of the Garden. She goes further and says that if they even touch the tree, they will die, which God did not say. The serpent clearly has her attention.

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.
“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened,
and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

(Genesis 3:4-5)

Eve’s emotions kick into overdrive.

She gets more than a little anxious about the perceived quality of the life she’s living.

  • She begins to doubt the goodness of God and his provision.
  • And rather than following her husband as her authority,
  • she gives her attention to the serpent instead.

The evidence is right there in front of her, and she reasons. “The fruit of the tree does look good. Really good.

  • Could it be God is holding out on us?
  • What if that stuff the Lord told Adam about that delicious-looking fruit isn’t actually true?
  • Is God denying us good things?
  • Is He refusing to make us fully aware of all that we might become?
  • Is He refusing us all we could enjoy … all that we deserve?
  • Life seems great. That’s true. But what if we could have more?
  • What if we could be more?
  • What if we could be like God?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • Why do you think the Serpent approached Eve instead of Adam?
  • What kept Adam from speaking up?
  • What sin(s) did each of them commit?
  • How do you see this scenario playing out in marriages today?

What do you believe about Women?

what do you believe about women

What do you believe about women? You need to have an accurate understanding of her if you want to know what a she wants and needs in a relationship. And so you can be aware of the ways the enemy deceives her. (And this info is no less necessary if you happen to be a woman.) We’re different, you know.

Men and women are not only different by nature, but are also unaware of just how different they are … and how they are different. Most believe – and this is one time men and women erroneously agree – that women are more sensitive than men.

[callout]In reality, research has shown that men are
actually more sensitive than women![/callout]

However, men are sensitive about different things than women are.
And they express their emotions differently.
Yes, men express feelings. Inescapably.

We can’t understand that until we examine our responses and interpret them according to the correct template. But more about that later …

We also speak different languages.

That is, the same words don’t hold the same meaning for men as they do for women. So many couples who are experiencing relationship problems need an interpreter.

In fact, what I mostly do during a couple’s counseling session is translate “what he just said” into words that she can understand, and then translate “what she just said” into words that he can understand.

So on the surface, it seems like poor communication is the problem.

But like so many other things in life, there’s more to it than that. The lack of connection and understanding run deeper than mere word-choice.

There are some fundamental biological and social differences that lead to very different world views – a situation that’s not easily resolved … especially when it prevents us from even trying to understand.

At the root, we find the commonly held belief that “men are simple” and “women are complicated.” I hear that a lot … so much so that it seems to be universally accepted as an immutable fact of life – one that gets in the way of any hope for a better connection … or dancing well together.

Author Grantley Morris put it this way:

There seems a common belief that women are more complicated than men. This belief has perhaps contributed to more marriage problems than any other belief.

Men generally conclude from it that women are so hard to understand that there’s no point in even trying to understand them. (Women who try to maintain an aura of mystery may be doing so to their own hurt.)

And women tend to assume that men are so easy to understand that there is no need to even try to understand them better.

So when it comes to better understanding the opposite sex, it’s often the case that men feel defeated before they start

… and women barely see a need to start.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • As you consider today’s culture, what are commonly held beliefs about women?
  • How many of them are positive?
  • How many of them are negative?

One Flesh

sex

Making Love is the deepest, most intimate Communication between a husband and wife. It reunites them in a way that happens with no other. Becoming One Flesh is Beautiful.

Woman is perhaps God’s greatest invention. He created her specifically to meet the relational, emotional, and physical needs of His first invention: Man. He designed her in such a way that man was automatically drawn to her in wonder … she joyously gave herself to him … and both enjoyed Joyous Rapture that could have been everlasting.

But sex has been affected by sin and shame.

The beauty of the male-female relationship became tarnished, convoluted, mixed up, and messed up. Instead of rejoicing in our differences, we are afraid of losing ourselves to the other. In our fear, we hide.

Or we seek to control and change one another to be more like ourselves … as though we were God Himself and, therefore, mindful of the only “right” way of being, which always backfires with serious and detrimental results.

Throughout history, we see examples of the exploitation of God’s creation. We see woman used and abused by man, diminished in importance by his use of her for his pleasure and power. Man is also abused by woman, diminished in importance by her use of him. There are documented cases of women being mistreated, but men are also mistreated and abused … and in more ways than we can ever imagine.

Men need women.

And they have from the very beginning. It wasn’t man’s idea. Adam was clueless about what he was missing in the Garden. But the Lord knew he would need a woman to love and to adore. And to soften him. Otherwise, he would become domineering and consumed by his power.

In His infinite wisdom, the Creator designed a woman who would possess something inherently fascinating that would make her utterly irresistible to her husband. And it’s not just about sex. Men desire women at a very deep level.

But too many women believe men are only interested in sex. Yes, they are interested in sex. Sex is very important to him. It meets an important need, but it’s not all that he needs.

That said, making love to his wife fulfills more of a man’s needs than any other single thing his wife does for him.

Making Love to his wife will naturally fulfill his needs for her
attention, affection, acceptance, appreciation, and admiration.
But that’s not all …

Making Love makes a man feel … loved!

Sadly enough, too many men have given up on being loved by a woman, which is one of man’s deepest longings. They have resigned themselves to settling for a measure of peace, giving up their hope for the fullness of a Joyous Marriage. And that’s sad.

… and the Lord has given us Hope!

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. (Mark 10:7-8)