A Wise Woman's Guide to Life & Love | Page 58 of 146

April 25, 2020April 25, 2020

When Things Don’t Go as Expected

I think we’d all agree that this quarantine is lasting longer than expected. People are getting more and more anxious. Frustrated. Impatient. How are you doing today?

Peter said, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

However, when resolution is delayed or not going the way you want it to go, your emotions will prompt you to take back your burdens & your fears.

Know why that’s a really bad idea?

Because YOUR solutions are always filtered through your SHAME!

Whereas His plans for you are so much greater than you can imagine.

Yes, even in an extended quarantine!

Instead of your former shame
    you will receive a double portion,
& instead of your past humiliation
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
Because He fully intends to give you
a double portion of His goodness right where you are,
    & everlasting joy really can be yours.

ISAIAH 61:7
[Dr. Debi’s “amplified” version]

Yes, it is time we lay all of our burdens & our pain at Jesus’ feet.
Leave everything that concerns you in His hands. Let go.
He has promised you & He will do it!

Because God always fulfills His promises.

God is not human.
He does not lie or
change His mind.
Does He speak & then not act?
Does He promise & not fulfill?

NUMBERS 23:19

Yes.
Hope deferred
makes the heart sick.
But a longing fulfilled
is a tree of life!

PROVERBS 12:13

April 24, 2020April 25, 2020

How to Live Undaunted & Filled with Wisdom

You have a dream for your life. God actually gave it to you Himself. His desire is that you would live undaunted.

That is, He does not want you to be intimidated or discouraged by difficulty, danger, or disappointment. Even by a pandemic and all that comes with that.

However, life often feels like everything is going against you. You’re in a battle. A battle you seem to be losing. Everything is falling apart. Nothing is working. And you’ve run out of ideas.

You need help. But you feel totally alone.
Your spiritual reflex is to cry out to God.
But nothing seems to be changing.

Then The Lord quietly reminds you, that if you want to live undaunted, you will need to seek His presence & His wisdom. It seems too simple to be true. But it is.

Nevertheless, it’s not always easy. For when anxiety & frustration threaten your dream, they also threaten your identity. You can easily forget that you are created in the image of God and that He is the Author of your dream. Yes, emotions can be serious distractions that can deter you from your destiny. As a result, you may begin to speculate, to consider possible outcomes & create strategies that may send you off in the wrong direction altogether.

But emotions & speculations can also be signposts. Reminders that you’re trying to walk alone, which you were never intended to do.

And reminders that God turns that attempt to deter you into a new level of determination. How cool is that?

Yes, if you want to live undaunted and what you’re doing isn’t working, ask your heavenly Father. He loves to help.

You won’t be condescended to when you ask for His help.
So ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.
He won’t scold you.

Instead He will overwhelm your failures with His generous grace. JAMES 1:5-8

April 20, 2020January 24, 2022

Helping Your Man Take Leadership

First, he needs to know that you are following him. Even if he’s not a very seasoned leader.

Because a man can never become a really great leader if no one is willing to follow him.

In a word, he needs your willingness to submit to his leadership.

Submission really means that you trust and respect him.
It does not mean that you follow him blindly and mindlessly.

Second, he really needs your feedback.

Both Scripture and research show that men need to be open to the influence of their wives. Otherwise, they’re doomed to fail.

However, your feedback must never be
in the form of criticism, attack, blame, or advice.

What he desperately needs to hear is when he is getting it right … when he’s doing something that pleases you … that makes you happy.

And remember he needs you to help him look good to anyone who’s watching. He’ll stand taller and work harder than you ever thought possible. Yes, just give him that, and he’ll pull out all the stops to please you – more so than you ever imagined.

Many of us can identify a multitude of ways to make sure our relationships don’t work.

However, we’re going to invest our energy on what actually does work. What works is very simple: being available and responsive to our partners “in the here-and-now,” and caring about how our actions might affect others – especially the person we love most in this world.

So what does that look like?

For the most part, I think I’m getting pretty good at being available and responsive to my partner. Although I’ve become an “expert” on the psychology of men and relationships, the Lord teaches me more about both topics every day.

Once during a dance lesson, Fred and I were demonstrating the “swing” step, and he was telling the men how to make it enjoyable for the woman.

He said, “Guys, you just pay attention to how your sweetie’s body is responding to the music and to you, and then you match her.”

Huh? For years I’d been telling women that they need to follow their guy – to match him. So I was more than a little taken aback by his verbal instructions.

I looked up at him and spontaneously proclaimed, “You’re matching me? I thought I was matching you!” He just smiled and replied, “We’re matching each other.”

Now I ask you, “How sweet is that?” A perfect way to play out Ephesians 5:21 – right in the middle of a dance lesson!

As couples, we must learn to pay attention to one another’s needs and to be responsive to one another in light of the unique design and purpose given to us by Our Creator.

Remember it was Christ who announced the revolutionary idea that husbands and wives are equal before Heaven, at the same time recognizing specific roles for each.

So if we want to build a Healthy Romance together, we need a more complete understanding of our respective biological differences, as well as differences in how we were nurtured.

Keep learning. Keep practicing. Keep dancing.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

How many women today are willing to submit to their husband’s leadership?
What type of feedback do you see most women give to men?
What kind of results do they get?