How quickly and easily You can turn me around, Papa. I woke up this morning wondering how I could make it through today. Then I thanked You for the Beautiful Dream You gave to me. And the Amazing Possibilities You have shown me for my life. I mean AMAZING! And my mood lifted instantly. You, Lord, are Irresistible!
Nonetheless, I am aware that – in the natural world – I am nowhere near any of that. Even so, my spirit quickens when I think of Your Goodness. Your Everlasting Kindness.
One thought led to another, and I remembered my walks on the Peninsula the summer of 2011. I’d march two miles up the shoreline, recounting all the reasons this would never work. My resolve was firm. I would protect myself. No one would ever hurt me again. I determined to erect a wall strong enough to protect myself from my own vulnerability.
But somehow, as soon as I made the Turnaround and headed back down the beach, all of my thoughts – and even the direction of my feelings – changed. Suddenly. Effortlessly.
In the words of Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
they were “quite the opposite.”
In a moment’s time, I found myself composing a message. Words that would not only encourage, but also put myself out there a bit further. So much for self-protection.
My resistance had been completely undone
by Your persistently insistent desire to bless me.
You and I went through the same routine everyday at the beach. You always won me over. And You hadn’t said a word. How did you do that?
The Beauty of Repentance
I know Your Word is Powerful. When You speak, something happens.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12, NKJV)
But so is Your Spirit. And I suspect He is Your Method. Both then and now.
… Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6b, NKJV)
The Goodness of Your Presence always causes me to repent – to change my mind. And the Beauty of Repentance is being back in step with You.
Thank You, Papa, for Your Goodness. Your Kindness. Your Gentleness. Your Loving Heart that is ever focused on me as I’m learning to follow.
Always,
Your Beloved Daughter
Definition of repentance: Many understand the term repentance to mean “turning from sin.” This is not the biblical definition of repentance. In the Bible, the word repent means “to change one’s mind.”
Looking over my journals for the last 20+ years, I can clearly see how much time I’ve spent whining and begging God to do something for me that He’s already done. I’ve pleaded with Him to be with me, to take care of me, and to bless what I’m trying to do.
Most of us experience depression and anxiety everyday. Perhaps not to the point of being “clinically significant.” But enough to drain our energy. We’re down because something hasn’t gone well. And worried about a future that mightn’t be any different.