In every relationship, partners continually make “bids” for one another’s attention, closeness, and reassurance through comments, questions, and gestures.
In successful marriages, spouses respond positively to these bids *86% of the time. That means you could totally miss 14% of the opportunities presented and still be pretty happy! How cool is that?
- Through their words and/or their actions, they invite more connection.
- That is, they communicate (with or without words):
- “You matter to me.”
- “I want to connect with you, too.”
In fact, successful couples make at least 20 (yes, twenty) positive remarks for every 1 (one) negative remark! If you do the math, that means 95% of their words are positive. Who saw that coming?
A tender answer turns away rage,
but a prickly reply spikes anger. PROVERBS 15:1
To respond to a matter before you hear about it
shows foolishness and brings shame. PROVERBS 18:13