Do You Understand Her Question?

More on Couple Communication: How to Resolve Couple Conflict

Couple Communication: Answering the right questionMen and women use language differently, and that probably affects your couple communication more than you realize. Because you respond to what you think you heard, which is not necessarily what your mate was saying.

In the video below, you will learn the importance of understanding your mate’s Bottom Line Question.

And once you know the real question behind the question, you’ll greatly increase the probability that you will automatically give the answer he/she is hoping for.

To answer before listening –
that is folly and shame. ~ PROVERBS 18:13

The Most Surprising Thing I Learned About Men

The Most Surprising Thing I Learned About MenThe most surprising thing I learned about men just might surprise you, too.

Unless you’re a man, that is!

In this video you will learn that:

  • Men tend to be far more sensitive than women.
  • A man’s sensitivity often brings him shame.
  • He puts up a wall to protect his heart.
  • Women’s words often shame men.
  • Women stop nurturing men.
  • He needs your nurture.

Simple facts that make sense … when you think about them. Because I’m all about helping women make sense of men in terms of how men think and what men do.


This video was recorded live on my Facebook page on January 30, 2020.

Learn more in the Quick Start Guide to Understanding Men.

The Truth Every Woman Needs to Know

The Truth Every Woman Needs to KnowThe Truth every woman needs to know? My work and my writing are often intense, and I’m sometimes accused of being “tough” on women. Because I desperately want women to know the Truth that no one told me.

My Love Story started like this …

I was born a blue-eyed blonde who was the apple of her daddy’s eye. But shortly before I turned 3, my mom packed her friend’s car with some essential belongings and left town with my older brother and me … while my dad was at work. He had no idea what was coming. None of us did.

We were always safe, and Mom took very good care of us.

But for most of my life, I experienced a haunting loneliness that I couldn’t explain and didn’t understand until more than 37 years later. My mother had kept me from my father. She had been abused as a child, and she was very confused about men and their behavior. She adored my three uncles, but didn’t really trust any other men … including my dad.

So she poured herself into being a mom and helping others. A very creative woman, she spent her days cooking and baking and sewing beautiful dresses for me with all kinds of ribbons and bows. How I loved to dress up! But life wasn’t always simple, and most lessons were painful.

Being from a divorced family was much more unique in the 1950s than it is now, and apparently something for a child to be ashamed of. I didn’t realize that until my Bluebird Troop visited our local radio station when I was 7. The announcer engaged in a live interview with each of the girls. I was so energetic – all twirls and smiles – and so excited to get to be on the radio. When the man came to me, he asked the same questions he had asked of the others, but there seemed to be something very wrong with my answers …

“What’s your name?” “Debby”
“What does your daddy do?”
“Oh, I don’t have a daddy.”

The expression on the nice announcer’s face changed drastically, and he quickly removed the microphone from in front of me and started talking to the next Bluebird. I was immediately flooded with an overwhelming sense of shame.

It was clear to me that I’d said something terribly wrong, but no one told me what it was. And I was too afraid to ask. So I filed the experience away under an enduring belief about myself: “There’s something drastically wrong with you, but no one will tell you what it is. No one will give you the slightest clue. You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.”

I’ve never forgotten that day, nor the sadness of my dad’s absence. In my little-girl mind, he’d left me for unknowable reasons, setting the stage for my belief about my perceived faults and my conclusion that I would always end up alone.

The Number One Lie vs. The Truth Every Woman Needs to Know

So there you have it. More than likely, you’ve had similar identity issues … also based on your early life experiences. Lies about yourself, to be sure, but also about the opposite sex. These issues can limit our romantic success by clouding our understanding of who we are and why we’re here.

As you contemplate your own story – past, present, and future – I pray that you’ll see the Father’s loving hand in it. No one can change what happened, but you can gain a better understanding by allowing your Heavenly Father to show you the Truth about yourself.

from The Truth About Love