A Heavenly Gift

submissive woman

When God created Adam, He knew that one person wouldn’t enough to fulfill His dreams. Although Adam was clueless about what he was missing, his All-Wise Creator wasn’t. The Lord knew man could not do so very well on his own. He would need someone to adore.

So God’s personal gift to Adam was his woman – created from his own body. So much like himself, yet so very different, Eve would have the natural capacity to complete Adam and to help focus his passion on someone outside of himself.

In the 21st Century, a man’s love for his woman is intended to spur him into the realization that she is God’s gift to him – his reason for living – his hope and his joy in the full experience of the Lord’s goodness.

Without a godly wife, a man will starve to death emotionally and relationally. Instead – with her by his side – he gets to feast on her femininity – to draw energy and inspiration from the closeness of her Beauty.


Feminine Strength + Submission = Beauty


Ladies, do you consider yourself a strong woman?
Many of us do.

But what is the Source of your strength?

By now, you’d think I’d know myself pretty well, and I do. Yet I’m amazed at how the Lord continually reveals truth to me … not only about others, but also about myself.

I knew I was pretty good at that “submission stuff” in my first marriage, but I didn’t realize until recently, that I didn’t understand the whole equation.

My submission wasn’t a strength-based choice.

It was rooted in my fear. Fear of displeasing my husband. And losing him. And because of my fear, I was never a truly strong woman. And I lost my husband.


Many women I meet are good at that “strength stuff” in their marriages.
But their strength is often false. Rooted in fear. Defensive.


Sometimes we toughen ourselves up to get through life, and we lose our true strength in the process. In other words, many women develop a false sense of strength as a defense against being hurt. But in the end, it causes them and their partners to experience unnecessary pain, and they both lose.

Defensiveness simply doesn’t work in marriage. Ever.

So what’s the source of our True Strength? It’s the Joy of the Lord. He is Our Strength and Our Song. We abide in Him, and He produces the Fruits of the Spirit within us. Truly, there’s nothing sweeter than that!

So learn to live in the reality that the Lord cherishes you as His Beloved Daughter. And that His desire is to teach your husband to cherish you, too!


Submission is a choice.


From True Strength you have the wonderful opportunity to choose Submission … to the Lord first, then to your husband. That’s what makes a woman truly Beautiful.

Clearly, we are created as partners.

Essential partners in the work of the Kingdom of God. Through Christ, we are redeemed to fulfill the purpose for which we were created. Man is the Leader, and woman is the Follower. He’s not a dictator, and she’s not a silent, powerless subject.

Fortunately, as we get things back in their proper, Heavenly perspective, man has what he needs to do his job, to live out his life passionately doing what God designed him to do.

If you are a wife, you are created to be your husband’s “rescuer” (Genesis 2), so it’s important to know exactly how to do that … and how to do it really well.

So much of your husband’s success depends on your walk with the Lord … and your desire to be the woman that he needs you to be.

As women, we have never been without relationship of another human being. We, therefore conclude that we are the “Relationship Experts.”

But most of us make the grievous error of believing it is our job … as the “Relationship Expert” … to fix, manage, and control a man. Indeed, it is most assuredly not! We have a much Higher Purpose!


A woman is to be her man’s Sweet Companion and Confidant.
Motivated simply by her presence, he will do almost anything to make her smile.


She’s there to let him know when he’s on the right track. Not to criticize him when he’s not. Her positive, affirming influence will cause her man to excel. And most importantly, to grow in his relationship with The Lord.

But what if she doesn’t think he’s on the right track?

A godly woman will always pray first, then expresses her concern lovingly (Ephesians 4:15) … and briefly. She may be assured that he heard her the first time. So her job from that moment forward is to pray for her mate with insight, fully confident that The Lord will answer her prayers.

If her man needs changing, The Lord will most surely do it (1 John 5:14). However, she must remain humble, knowing that it might be her The Lord desires to change.

Every Woman’s Dream

fear

It’s not Rocket Science: Men and women different from one another. Equal value. Yet very different in some essential ways. So what I do is show favoritism toward both genders. A favoritism based on how God created them. Their needs. Their desires. Their beauty.

You may already know that I do training seminars for pastors and counselors. A female attendee once asked, “Do you think what you’re teaching is true for all cultures?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure. But I can say that I’ve never met a woman from any background that didn’t have a deep-down, though perhaps unstated, desire to be led by a godly man who loves her enough to protect her, to guide her, and to hold her,” I replied.

Even from the front of the classroom,
it was easy enough to see her eyes go instantly teary.

A Christian woman’s Number One “fomo”
is directly related to her Dream.

Many a Christian woman fears that her man will not be the Spiritual Leader of their family. So she takes over, and she doesn’t do it well. Although it’s better for the man to take the lead, especially with the children, she reasons that a female Spiritual Leader is better than no Spiritual Leader.

However, once she’s taken on that role – before or after marriage – it’s very difficult for her husband to step up to the plate. So please, guys, be the leader, in every sense of the word. Don’t live life under the curse anymore!

The most important task a man has been assigned is to continually direct and redirect his loved ones toward Christ. Only He can meet everyone’s needs!

Leadership is a man’s responsibility.

Men were designed to take the lead. God created men with all that it takes right there inside of him. It’s a learning process, for sure, and no man comes into this life knowing how to lead. So men need to get all the support they can.

As a husband, he’ll be held responsible before God for his family. God knew it was Eve who took the first bite of the apple, but He came looking for Adam.

You can believe me when I say I know that women can be difficult to love at times. I’m one of them, remember?

As Christian women, most of us have been taught that the man is to be the leader in the family. But in reality, women have been running the show for a long time now. Yes, a woman knows she can make it through life without a man.

But can she really live the life she desires?

Yes, she would survive. But in taking charge, she misses the beauty of what God intends your relationship to be. She not only makes it impossible for you to lead, but she denies what her heart and yours are both longing for.

Sidebar for Singles
Nice girls don’t chase boys.
Wait for him to take the lead.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • How many women do you know who “wear the pants” in their marriage?
  • What could a woman do to encourage her husband’s leadership?

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
(Colossians 3:18-19)