Tag: learning to follow

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Day 5: Why Me?

why me?

You know My Story. I was raised apart from my father. Married at 18. Divorced by 35. A single mom with 3 sons, very little work experience, and a high school diploma. I don’t know if I ever asked, “Why me?” Honestly, that shipped sailed so long ago that I don’t remember. But I did ask questions. A lot of questions.

Perhaps your story is similar in some way. Your dreams didn’t come true, and you’ve tried to understand. Perhaps you’ve asked one (or more) of these questions:

  • Why did this have to happen?
  • What did I do to deserve this?
  • What am I missing out on because of this?

So why do bad things happen?

Asking why – or any of those other questions – will never get us anywhere.
In other words, how you see the problem is the problem.

Consider it pure joy?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing
of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

[callout]How does that work?
Ask a different question instead.[/callout]

“What does this experience make possible?”
Some examples …

  1. Failure develops humility.
  2. Waiting develops patience.
  3. Grief develops gratefulness.
  4. Hardship develops strength.
  5. Opposition develops fortitude.

All of which will bear fruit in a practical way.

For instance – although I had never ever wanted to go through divorce – that experience made something new possible. My dream of going to college was always simmering on the back burner. But I hadn’t the freedom to go to school and manage my marriage at the same time. My then-husband opposed all my attempts for self-improvement. His decision to leave freed me to become who I am created to be.

Failure. Waiting. Grief. Hardship. Opposition. It took me 4 1/2 years more to actually get started, but once I did, I fairly flew. My experience had developed New Stuff in me. Humility. Patience. Gratefulness. Strength. Fortitude.

PLUS a Bachelor’s of Arts degree. A Master of Arts degree. And a Doctor of Psychology degree. All back-to-back!!! Who could have seen that coming?

And where I am now in the process of life
is deepening who I am in Christ!

[callout]Jesus has given me Beauty instead of ashes.
Just as He promised.[/callout]

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:1-3)

So here are my questions for you:

  • What does your current (or past) experience make possible that you would have missed without it? What is The Lord wanting to give you instead?
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How to Find Joy in the Mercy of a Do-Over

do over

The Lord has given me a clear Vision of Identity and Romance in His Kingdom. Yet My Own Dream seems to be just beyond my reach. I’ve messed up a lot, to be sure. Over and over again. Maybe I’m not ready yet. How can I ever be? What am I missing?

I once believed that God was using my losses and failures to punish me. For some unknown sin or error. And I was on my own to figure it out.

But that isn’t the Character of God,
who created me and sent His Son to die for me.

Finding Hope in the Pain of a Setback

Just so you know, as if you didn’t already. I can’t fix anything. For myself or anybody else. But I can share what I’m learning in my own process. So here is what I understand about messing up when it comes to Identity and Romance:

  • Holding on to less-than-God’s-best hurts.
  • Pain gets our attention. And that’s a good thing.
  • But we only want the pain to go away. And that’s a bad thing.

Finding Joy in the Mercy of a Do-Over

The Book of Lamentations is filled with sorrowful songs. And its conclusion reminds us of The Lord’s character as we face our desired Do-Over.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Pain is a Gift – a sign that it’s time for a do-over

Unlike the folks in the Old Testament, we are not being punished for getting it wrong. Because Jesus paid the price for our sins and set us FREE from God’s wrath. So why do we hurt so much? And, no, you cannot use other people as your scapegoat.

Here are a few possibilities:

  • We will always reap whatever we sow.
  • We try to get things our own way (through manipulation, etc.).
  • We don’t understand that God has something better He wants to give us.

Maybe it’s time to let the Holy Spirit redecorate your heart!

I love how the Holy Spirit helps us pass our tests with flying colors! He’s been incredibly Merciful toward me. Pure Kindness. Ever Gentle. The Best Teacher ever!!!

So have a conversation with Him. He loves to talk with us. If you don’t believe me, give Him a try! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, eh?

These questions are a pretty good place to begin:

  • What are you trying to show me, Lord?
  • What am I trying to force that doesn’t fit Your Plan for my life?
  • What messed-up mindset am I holding on to that you would like to replace?

Embrace the Exciting Possibilities of Your Instead!

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
    that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
    foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord,
    you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
    and in their riches you will boast.

Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours. (Isaiah 61:1-7)

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