There’s nothing more beautiful than loving someone who actually loves you back. ~ Dr. Debi
Hello, I’m Dr. Debi,
Founder of A Wise Woman’s Guide.
Here’s how it all began.
For more than a decade, I had been teaching women biblically-sound, research-based info that could help them understand and be in joyful partnership with the men they love.
That task completed (like it ever could be, right?), I decided to conduct a survey to find out what my readers wanted next.
In particular, I wondered how I might find ways to encourage Christian men to build satisfying relationships through leadership filled with confidence & compassion (1 PETER 3:7).
The results surprised me.
One man believed I should focus on inspiring and helping men become better leaders.
He suggested I begin by reading his all-time favorite Christian book about “real” manhood.
I took his suggestion seriously.
But as I dove into the text, I realized the author failed to address Man’s need for Woman.
He placed the entire burden of responsibility for EVERYTHING on Man ALONE.
He ignored the partnership God has designed. See Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:9.
That’s when I had a “suddenly” moment. Like you read about in the Bible. The good kind, of course.
An Instant Awareness of Amazing Truth
Suddenly I realized that most women – including myself – don’t fully understand our value & our purpose in today’s world.
Therefore, I continued my mission as-is. To seek deeper understanding of what it means to be a Christian woman in relationship with a man.
Far too many books & events for women fail to address our Biblical Partnership with men. Especially with our husbands.
And I had another “suddenly” moment.
Women – in God’s original design – are way more important on this earth than we’ve been led to believe!
Wisdom is Personified as a Woman!
Who knew, right?
And women are a major theme in the Book of Proverbs. Both good and bad.
However, this verse jumped out at me first:
The Wise Woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. PROVERBS 14:1
So who is this Wise Woman?
- How does she think differently than the foolish one?
- How does she truly feel about her life & love?
- What does she do differently daily?
Discover your Wisdom. Confidence. Beauty. Influence.
- Grow in your Faith.
- Be more confident in your femininity.
- Learn to co-create your own Joyful Marriage.
About Dr. Debi’s Education & Teaching Experience
Dr. Debi earned her Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Psychology at MidAmerica Nazarene University, and her Master of Arts (MA) and Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) at Biola University. She also taught courses at both universities, as well as at Azusa Pacific University from 2002 to 2010.
Biblical Beauty & Romance
Fred, Dr. Debi, and the Dance With Me Team demonstrate Victorian-style dance at Mariners Church in Irvine, CA.
A man & woman dancing together in three-quarter time is the best metaphor for – and experience of – Romance.
- He takes the lead. She follows.
- He guides & protects her.
- She inspires & influences him, even as she admires him & makes him look good to anyone who’s watching.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ~ Ephesians 5:21
This passage applies to the body of believers in fellowship with one another, so it naturally applies to husbands and wives as well.
Music by Spare Parts, used by permission, CD “Returning Heroes,” song “La Cachucha,” available for purchase @ http://www.bfv.com/spareparts/
However, the way husbands & wives submit to one another is easily misunderstood in our current culture. So we teach men & women what mutual submission looks like in the 21st Century. Couples attend to one another’s needs and are responsive to one another in light of his/her unique design and purpose.
Dare to Dream Again
God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing you around but by working within you, His Spirit deeply & gently within you. Ephesians 3:20 (adapted from TPT)
The Truth is simple, but not always easy.
Knowing the answers requires learning the Truth … & unlearning the lies.
- First & foremost, a woman must learn to be confident in her value to her Creator. To embrace her vulnerabilities, as well as those characteristics that make her beauty completely unique in all the Universe.
- A woman must also learn what men are most sensitive to – the things that break their souls & why those things are so important to him.
- Finally, she needs to be fully aware of what it is about her that inspires, influences, & invites him into a more satisfying experience of life & love … without losing herself in the process.
The Key to Understanding Men
Men are different than women.
- Men & women are created with very different biology.
- And they are treated very differently from the beginning of their existence … from the time their parents find out if “it’s a boy or a girl.”
The impact of these two factors (nature + nurture) can best be understood in light of Attachment Theory.
And that’s what no one is talking about!
If you’re eager to learn, you can skip ahead here to find out what happened to make a man’s outlook on life & love so different from a woman’s.
Instead, far too many women obsess over men.
They believe they have the power to fix a broken man & set about to do just that.
In the process, they lose themselves … and drive the man away.
In short, a woman often resorts to manipulation … to get him to be the man she wishes he were … for her.
If you want to learn how to fix a broken man …
… that is, to make him into the man you want him to be, then you are in the WRONG place. This info is NOT for YOU!
There are tons of websites about how to manipulate a man … many of them written by men themselves. Go figure!
You’ve probably heard the saying that when a man marries a woman he’s hoping she’ll never change, whereas a woman marries a man hoping that he will. It’s actually more than a hope for her. He may actually be her Main Project. But men are not projects. They are people.
Fixing your husband – even if it were possible – would do nothing to fix what’s wrong in your life.
A woman trying to direct a man’s growth – especially if she wants him to take the lead – is totally getting the proverbial cart before the proverbial horse!
Just think about that for a minute …
Wouldn’t it make more sense … to enjoy being so beautiful & precious to him that he actually wants to pull that cart with the greatest of care?
I’m Dr. Debi Smith, a Psychologist who loves to help women with understanding men so they can naturally want to work together to create a joyful marriage. Because the best way to change the world is through the everyday actions of passionate, empowered couples who work well and dance beautifully together.
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I speak from a female perspective, of course, based on Biblical Principles, Scientific Research (Attachment Theory + the psychology of men), and my Experience as a Couples Therapist … and talking with hundreds & hundreds of men.
I’m on a journey of unlearning & learning for myself and put everything I discover to practical use in my own life, then share it all with my readers. It is so much fun to see others enjoy a thriving Romance!
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