When it’s more blessed to receive …

If you’ve been following me or have read my most recent book, you know that I grew up without my dad. Back then moms were expected to stay home with their kids. So that’s what my mom did.

She took very good care of my brother and me, but we didn’t have a lot. Christmas meant one gift each … often bought through the genius of my mother’s financial expertise, which could best be described as the Robbing-Peter-to-Pay-Paul method of survival.

On more than one occasion, we were the recipients of Holiday Cheer bestowed on needy families by a local charity. I remember receiving a food basket one year. Literally, it was a bushel basket filled with all kinds of tasty goodies … and some items we’d never seen nor heard of … and never opened.

But the time I remember most was the year of the Shopping Spree. I was in junior high. I don’t know how many kids were involved, but I do know I was one of them. The local discount store was still closed when a bunch of us kids were bused to the front door and turned loose inside to made purchases for ourselves.

What was the limit? I never asked.

I remember a volunteer trying to get me to make a decision about what I wanted. I’m sure we were there for more than an hour. It actually seemed like several hours, though I don’t recall. I ended up with one pair of dark teal slacks – made of lightweight material – and a coordinated printed cotton blouse. Not the warmest choice for a Kansas winter.

The volunteer tried to talk me into other things, but I respectfully declined. It wasn’t that I thought I was above receiving. I was just taught that you should never ask for anything. Never. Not even when something’s freely offered to you.

The enemy still uses that one against me today.

  • He has continually attacked my finances, my relationships … and my identity.
  • He tells me I can’t have what the Lord Himself has promised.
  • All of Heaven’s resources are available to me.
  • Yet – when I fall for the lies, I still opt for my own limitations.

Yes, I have far too often believed the enemy’s lies.

Maybe you have, too. We believe that we must suffer in silence … payment for our mistakes as well as our blatant sins. And we fail to receive the blessings the Lord has stored up for us. Wait! Didn’t Jesus die to pay for all of that?

That’s all a lie! And this means war.

If you’re like me, and you’re still struggling with the same old mindset … and the same problems keep you up at night, you’re probably stuck in some sort of Negative Cycle. We clearly need a new Strategy for Life.

One of my favorite Bible teachers is Priscilla Shirer, author of Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer. She puts it this way:

Strategies? Yes. Because as you may have noticed, the battles your enemy wages against you – especially the most acute, consistent ones – possess a personality to them, an intimate knowledge of who you are and the precise pressure points where you can most easily be taken down. Random accident? Lucky guess? I don’t think so. There areas of greatest fear and anxiety in your life are clues to some important spiritual information. They reveal, among other things, that a personalized strategy has been insidiously put in place to destroy your vibrancy and render you defeated. It’s been drawn up on the blackboard by someone who knows where you live and whom you love, knows your customary tendencies, and knows from long experience how best to exploit every single on of them. And maybe up until now, it’s been working.
(pp. 6-7)

But those days are over! Are you with me?

Théoden: I will not risk open war.
Aragorn: Open war is upon you, whether would risk it or not.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

My Boldest Prayer

Just over a year ago, I prayed the boldest prayer I’ve ever prayed. And I’ve prayed a lot of prayers. But this one was life-changing in ways I could never have imagined. And I did ask for it.

I’d just boarded a plane headed east to meet my youngest grandson for the first time. Exhausted, I opted for a silent flight. No music. No internet. Not even a book or magazine. Just my earplugs … and 4+ hours of quiet time with the Lord.

What should we talk about?

Prayer changes things. And people.

As you know from reading My Story, my life has been one challenge after another. Many of my lifelong dreams have remained just out of reach. Even now, I consider only a few of my endeavors to have been successful ones.

  • My three amazing sons (grown with their own families)
  • My three psychology degrees (BA, MA, PsyD)

It was July by now, and for several months the Lord had been talking to me about establishing a Christian Couples Retreat Center. [You can read the back story here.] The ideas flooded in as fast as I could write them down. “No one is doing anything like this,” I quickly realized. “The concept is totally unique, Lord! Very romantic and exciting!”

There were just a few problems, however.

Although I certainly have the training for it, I couldn’t help but wonder. Why on earth would the Lord give such An Amazing Vision – such a unique and brilliant concept –

  • to a woman who has been divorced twice,
  • a woman who is clearly no longer a Spring Chick,
  • and who has very little in terms of material resources?

Seriously. No one has that kind of money these days.

But if God wants it, He certainly can make it happen. Right? But why me, Lord? What have I ever done? Yet who am I to question God’s choices for leadership in His Kingdom?

He’s picked a lot of unlikely candidates to advance the Kingdom throughout history.

  • Abraham (an old dude with no kids … at first)
  • Jacob (second-born son who’d been a liar and a cheat)
  • Joseph (a bragger who lived the life of a slave and prisoner)
  • Moses (another old dude … this one with a stick and a stutter)
  • Esther (an orphaned Jewish girl who became Queen of Persia)
  • David (a scrawny shepherd boy who failed to fit the armor, but became King)
  • and Paul (who persecuted Christians … then wrote most of the New Testament)

… just to name just a random few.

So why NOT Dr. Debi (an old dudette)? “Ok, Lord,” I prayed on the plane that day. “I’ve been reminding You of how old I am, and You keep ignoring me.

“Your idea for this Christian Couples Retreat Center is so far beyond anything I’ve ever done. So – assuming You really want me to do this – You’re going to have to put me on The Fast Track.”

“I know I’ve played it safe all my life. But from here on out, you call the shots, Papa. All of them. Let’s make the Second Half of My Life a Real Adventure! You write the script. I’ll follow Your direction and do whatever You ask of me. Whatever You ask.”

At the time, “The Fast Track” I had in mind meant He’d have to start teaching me a ton-at-a-time about how to run the multi-dimensional business that He’d shown me.

Nope. Not even close.

What He’s done is put me on His Fast Track. He’s challenging me like I’d never imagined possible. And refining me in ways I didn’t know I needed to be refined. Here are just a few things I’m learning at a deeper level … so far.

  • Submit to His Lordship. If He’s in charge, then He’s in charge. Follow Him always.
  • Trust in His Goodness. For everything. I mean literally. Everything. Anxious for nothing. I mean literally. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
  • Stand on His Promises. I’m learning to hear His voice best and to take Him at His Word. Always. Because He never lies. Never. And nothing is too hard for Him.

Is this a new thing? I suspect it’s something He’s had planned all along.

I’ve always wanted to make a difference. And that was my goal when I began college as a single mom [and later, graduate school]. I wanted to help at least one person live a better life. But was that a new thought for me at age 40?

No, indeed. I recently recalled a time in junior high school. Yes, that’s when it was. Though I don’t remember the specific context, I’m sure it was during my Youth Group. The passion of it all – still fresh on my mind today – as I eagerly responded – even as Isaiah did – to the voice of the Lord. And I don’t think He’s ever forgotten it either.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

QUESTIONS: What Passionate Pursuit have you had on hold? How long has Your Dream been waiting for you? And what would it take to get you going again?

Your Spiritual Heritage & Knowing God Today

Church was always a big part of our family life, even when my parents were together. Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, Wednesday night prayer meetings.

I remember asking Jesus into my heart during Vacation Bible School one summer, and true to His Word, He came in to stay.

But other than going to church, Mom didn’t contribute much to our spiritual understanding or growth.

I don’t remember ever hearing my mother pray, though she did read her Bible a lot. In fact, she kept it near her rocking chair and underlined her favorite verses with a pen.

Sadly, that was her only testimony.

Like most adolescents, I had a hard time during junior high. Thankfully, our ultra-conservative Midwestern church provided the Rules for Living, and we had the world’s absolute best youth group. We went roller skating, camping, boating, and for hayrides. But we never engaged in my favorite sport: dancing.

Trying to make sense of it all as an adult, I composed a brief bio that I shared with folks who asked about my religious upbringing. My early Spiritual Formation went something like this:

  • My dad was Pentecostal, and my mom was Baptist. Their marriage didn’t last. Go figure.
  • We moved into a house between the First Baptist Church and the Nazarene Church, and my mom chose the Nazarenes. So I was raised a Nazarene by a Baptist mom. Go figure.
  • I married a Lutheran when I was 18 years old, and we became United Methodists. Our marriage didn’t last either. Go figure.
  • Yet the Lord has remained faithful to me. Hallelujah!

QUESTIONS: What’s your spiritual heritage? How has your understanding of God changed over the years?