The Psychology of Men Archives | Page 18 of 20 | A Heroic Journey to Uncommon Love

February 19, 2016May 19, 2020

To Pray More Effectively, You May Need to Pray Differently.

Most women pray for their men, of course. But what is the content of your prayers?

Are you just telling the Lord to help him to get his act together so your life will be easier?
Or are you sincerely interested in meeting your man’s emotional needs?

If you want to pray effectively for your man, you’ll need to get into the cave with him.

Spiritually and emotionally speaking, that is (this takes time with the Holy Spirit).
Rather than verbally or invasively (which we do in our flesh) as noted in my post about the Man Cave.

For example, don’t insist he talk about his feelings. Because he may not fully understand them yet himself.

Instead, Learn to Pray Differently

The first steps are simple.

Listen more.
Talk less.

That alone will give him more space to talk – when he’s ready. And you’ll learn the most you can about him. He may not say much. But listen to his words. And pay attention to his actions. His actions will speak loudest.

The latter steps take time.

Listen to the Holy Spirit.
Pray according to God’s will.

Because you’re not a man, you’ll need a spirit of wisdom and revelation (Ephesians 1:17) that will enable you to pray for him in accordance with God’s will and perspective on the situation. Yes, you may have some great ideas, but this may not be the best time to share them with your man. Wait upon the Lord, trusting that He cares a lot more about what’s going on with your man than you do.

Warning!

Keep the content of your prayers between you and the Lord. Your man’s vulnerability is not a subject you should be sharing with your mother, your sister, or your girlfriends.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. (Ephesians 1:17)

He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)

February 18, 2016September 4, 2024

Respect the Man Cave

An understanding of men necessarily includes a healthy respect for the Man Cave. But as women we typically have a really hard time with it. We have nothing to compare it to, so it simply doesn’t make sense to us. But it makes a lot of sense to men.

February 17, 2016April 2, 2017

Why Won’t He Talk to Me?

A lifetime of experience impacts the way a man communicates. But we women often don’t understand a man’s silence. So the Man Cave feels like stonewalling at best – and abandonment at worst. But the Man Cave isn’t stonewalling at all. Unless a woman tries to force her way though. Then she’s got Double Trouble.

Simply knowing that her man is struggling is not enough, because that only serves to trigger a woman’s natural desire to reach out and encourage him … to get him to talk to her … to try to convince him that she is his Safe Haven.

But a lifetime of experience has taught him otherwise.

Her efforts to connect will feel like an invasion to him … and/or add to his sense of guilt and shame that he hasn’t got a solution. Both of which will result in an immediate increase in his defensiveness – usually by strengthening his wall.

And being shut out makes her more anxious … worried about him … and about herself. It feels like the Beginning of the End to her, and she often doesn’t understand why.

Do you know why men stonewall?

Believe it or not, the initial purpose of the stonewall has nothing to do with hurting you. That’s not the purpose of the Man Cave either. Most women find it helpful to know the difference. Because it helps them know what to do – and find a better way to pray.

I’ll post more on this topic tomorrow. But as a first step toward better understanding, I invite you – if you haven’t already done so – to enroll in my free 15-day e-course now. Learn more here.

To answer before listening—
that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)