Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men

Does the man you love avoid talking about feelings – his & yours? Does he shut down & stonewall when you get emotional? Does he give you his “logical answer” when you want to process what’s really going on in the relationship? If you’ve ever wondered why so many women have these same complaints about men, keep reading.

Attachment Theory helps explain why so many men are emotionally unavailable. Basically, a man is born more sensitive than a woman, but his upbringing teaches him to hide his vulnerability.

understanding men - emotionally unavailable men

Understanding Men Through Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory is based on the research finding that every human being needs someone who is available & responsive to his/her needs from the womb to the tomb.

Research by Dr. John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist, showed that babies not only need to be fed and protected, but also need strong emotional bonds.

  • Every baby is born with an attachment system to ensure its physical & emotional survival.
  • When a baby is angry, sad, hurt, or afraid, his attachment system cries out & moves him toward someone who can care for him.
  • When someone is available & responsive to his needs, he feels safe.
  • If his experience is consistently positive, his memories of being comforted will soothe him when no one is readily available.

Positive early emotional memories, as well as sights, sounds, smells, taste, & touch, help him develop healthy beliefs about himself:

  1. I am lovable.
  2. I can depend on others to love me & to help meet my needs.

The “relational template” he develops (comforting or distancing) becomes his pattern for future relationships.

Of course, this is true for girl babies, too.
But I’ll talk about that in a different post.

What Changes for Boys?

At the beginning of life, a baby boy’s emotional experience is much like a baby girl’s. However, boys are more emotionally & socially sensitive. Therefore, they feel every experience more intensely.

However, most boys are pushed away at an early age. That experience forms a negative belief about what it means to be a man & what a man can expect from others … especially from a woman.

His natural sensitivity often causes considerable pain & confusion as he matures. According to research …

  • Infant boys are more emotionally & socially sensitive at birth (Brody & Hall, 1993; Levant, 2001).
  • By the time a boy starts school, he has learned to hide most feelings — especially if they show his vulnerability (Levant, 2001; Pollack, 1998).
  • Nearly every boy repeatedly experiences socially acceptable shaming.
  • A boy learns to appear tough, aggressive, dominating, & non-emotional.
  • Many boys & men demonstrate limited emotions — usually anger.
  • Men withdraw from emotional discussions to protect their vulnerability.

A boy who needed love & acceptance, but was rejected & shamed for his vulnerability instead, has experienced far more pain than women will ever understand.

Rejection & shame during childhood & adolescence leave a boy alone to deal with complex feelings, especially guilt, humiliation, shame, anxiety, depression, anger, and rage.

Women are confused about what it means to grow up male (Pollack, 1998).

A boy usually has no place to turn. No one to help him with his pain.

Where Did His Mom Go?

A mother often feels uncertain about how to raise a healthy man. Consequently, she may feel pressured to push her son away.

His mom actively, but often unknowingly participates in “the hardening process through which society shames boys into suppressing their empathic and vulnerable sides” (Pollack, 1998, p. 40).

This usually happens when he needs her reassurance & instruction most:

  • The first time is when he goes off to school.
  • The second is when he’s going through puberty.

The Clingy or Abusive Mom

On the other hand, some women use their sons to fulfill their own emotional needs. This topic requires a much deeper discussion than we have space for here. But I will be talking about it elsewhere on this blog.

A Father’s Guidance

Fathers who have also been pushed away & rejected have no idea how to be there for their sons. All they know to do is show them how to avoid vulnerable feelings, often “at all costs.” Dads mostly demonstrate their strategies through their on lack of emotional availability.

Remember that early experiences provide a boy with images & feelings that form his understanding of how to form relationships and how dependable he can expect those relationships to be based on …

  1. mom’s & dad’s availability & responsiveness to him, and
  2. how effective he has been in getting others to respond to his needs.

So boys move from mother disconnection to father disconnection. No wonder he learns to shut down his feelings. He does it to survive!

The Crises of Boyhood

Growing up is complicated & confusing for a boy.

And he is often without emotional support.

Researchers (e.g., Levant, 2001; Pollack, 1998) have identified several stages when boys have emotional crises. The first crisis sets the stage for the second. Both help explain why men are emotionally unavailable as adults.

  1. The first crisis is the beginning of school (e.g., kindergarten).
  2. The second is as a teenager as he tries to understand adult sexuality & all there is to know about girls.

The first crisis is actually several years in the making and is fundamentally the result of how we socialize our sons’ emotions. Because of widespread beliefs in U.S. society about how boys and men ought to behave (what I call the “code of masculinity”), we tend to get swept up in a process of shaping and channeling boys’ expression of emotions so that, although boys start out life more emotional than girls, they wind up much less so. By the time a boy enters school he has learned to hide and feel ashamed of two important sets of emotions: those that express vulnerability in one way or another (fear, sadness, loneliness, hurt, shame, and disappointment) and those that express neediness, caring or connection to others.

Levant, 2001, p. 355

The Code of Masculinity

Levant, Hirsch, Celentano, and Cozza (1992) examined major American beliefs. Their study revealed that boys & men are “supposed to be”:

  1. independent and self-reliant,
  2. non-expressive of emotions related to vulnerability or attachment,
  3. tough and aggressive,
  4. driven toward high social status,
  5. perpetually in the mood for sex,
  6. disinterested in anything feminine, and
  7. interested only in sex.

Pollack’s (1998) “Boy Code” is a similar list. These sound a lot like survival techniques for a tenderhearted boy. Don’t you think?

  1. Be a Sturdy Oak. Whimpering, crying, complaining, or any sign of weakness is strictly forbidden.
  2. Give ‘Em Hell. Boys are encouraged in risk-taking behavior characteristic of a macho, invincible, sometimes violent, high-energy superman.
  3. Be the Big Wheel. To survive, he must dominate others & refuse to let anyone know he actually feels like a failure or like life is out of control.
  4. No Sissy Stuff. This last commandment (survival technique) is like an emotional “straitjacket” that keeps boys from expressing feelings “seen (mistakenly) as ‘feminine’— dependence, warmth, empathy” (p. 24).

Other Important Questions

  • Was he a victim of abuse (emotional, physical, sexual)?
  • How did discipline (spanking, hitting, shaming) affect him?
  • What was his parents’ relationship like?
  • How was his relationship with siblings?
  • What did he learn from sports?
  • Was he a “jock” or a “nerd”?

Summary for Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men

So many factors go into making a man. But emotional separation & rejection are highly common experiences for nearly all boys.

We must learn appreciate that men have been able to survive in a world that is unfriendly toward males.

Being more sensitive by nature, many boys could not have survived to see adulthood if they had not developed some highly effective defenses.

  • Not surprisingly, the classic male stereotypes are avoidant or dismissing.
  • Common complaints from women range from
    • lack of feeling and/or sensitivity toward others to
    • aggressive and/or angry outbursts
  • To expect a boy or man to be empathic toward others is an unreasonable request if he himself has not had the experience of being:
    • understood
    • accepted
    • loved
  • Generally, the world may not be a safe place for a man. The only way he has survived so far is to cut off his feelings. Or at least to keep them from showing.
  • Anger & depression are not uncommon responses to teasing & shaming. Yet boys and men are expected to learn to control their anger, rather than to understand it.

Solutions for Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men

When a man (or boy) is emotionally unavailable, he probably has a very good reason.

  1. The short solution is that men need empathy.
  2. The more difficult task, however, is to teach women how to understand & empathize with men in a way that doesn’t add further shame, manipulation, and trauma.

References

NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Brody, L. R., & Hall, J. A. (1993). Gender and emotion. In M. Lewis & J. M. Haviland (Eds.), Handbook of emotions (pp. 447-460). New York: The Guilford Press. [Amazon link]

Levant, R. F. (2001). The crises of boyhood. In G. R. Brooks & G. E. Good (Eds.), The new handbook of psychotherapy and counseling with men (Vol. 1, pp. 355- 368). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. [Amazon link]

Levant, R. F., Hirsch, L. S., Celentano, E., & Cozza, T. M. (1992). The male role: An investigation of contemporary norms. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 14, 325-337.

Pollack, W. S. (1998). Real boys: Rescuing our sons form the myths of boyhood. New York: Henry Holt and Company. [Amazon link]

Smith, D. L. (2009). Mothers and sons: How the maternal attachment experience affects boys’ emotional and social development. [instant download available from Dr. Debi Smith on Thinkific.com]


Better Couple Communication: Be Careful What You Say

Honest couple communication – especially between husband & wife – is essential for creating connection and lasting joy. But should you be able to say whatever you want to your mate?

I’ve always tried to be careful what I say to My Beloved. But many folks – mostly women, it seems; but some men, too – believe you should be able to say whatever you want to your mate. They call it “just being honest.”

On the other hand, some are too careful about what they say because they’re trying to get a particular response from their partner. Actually, that’s manipulation, and I’ve never seen it work to create true connection in any relationship.

The Psychology of Better Couple Communication

As a Couples Psychologist, I’ve seen both extremes.

“letting it all out” or
“tiptoeing around”

The saddest thing about those who’d like better couple communication is that most don’t even realize what they’re actually doing!

So here are my 5 Reasons for being careful what you say.

1. Words can hurt.

Think before you speak: Could what you are about to say be experienced as attacking, blaming, or criticizing? Just because your feelings are hurt does not give you the right to hurt someone in return.


Two “wrongs” never make a “right.”


A counterattack will not get you the response you’re hoping for when you are hurt, but will instead elicit a defensive response from the one who hurt you. Consider these two options and you would respond to each:

What you just said really hurt.

versus …

You’re such a jerk!

2. Words can heal.

Be kind and gracious toward one another. You may have heard that “hurt people hurt people.” Consider what might be behind the other person’s behavior. Chances are he is acting defensively by being offensive … like I just warned you against doing (see above).

If you’re partnered with someone you love, it’s probably because you really like the person he normally is. So if he is behaving in a way that is “out of character,” it makes more sense to assume he has a good reason for that.  Not an excuse, but a reason. Why not find out what it could be?

You seem really tense today. What’s happening?

If you don’t get an answer that makes sense, you can follow up with …

Ok. I’m sorry I burned the toast, but it seems like it’s more than that. I care about you, and I’m here if you want to talk about whatever else seems to be going on.

Then stop talking. Go on about whatever you would be doing under less stressful circumstances, remaining open to hear what’s troubling him when he’s ready to talk about it. (See also When You Love a Broken Man.)

NOTE: Please know that I am not talking here about anyone who is in an abusive relationship, which requires a different strategy. Here is a quick way to evaluate your situation, and if you are in an abusive relationship, please seek the help of a local mental health professional or Christian Care Connect for additional types of care providers.

3. Words can curse.

Assuming the worst about your mate and saying it aloud is essentially the same as pronouncing a curse upon him. Trust me. You don’t want to speak out that kind of potentially self-fulfilling prophecy! (James 3:10)

You know you’re cursing if you begin with “you always …” or “you never …”

It’s also wise to be aware that saying those things to your friends or relatives – with earshot of your spouse or when he’s not around – still register as curses.


The wise woman builds her house,
But with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Proverbs 14:1)


4. Words can bless.

better couple communication be careful what you sayPaul’s admonition to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:5) does not give you permission to tell your mate everything you think is wrong with him.

I believe what Paul means is that you should speak the Truth about how God him: as His Dearly Beloved Child.

The most important thing you can do for your mate is to learn to see him as God sees him. Jesus loves him as the man he is, as well as the man he is becoming. Let’s partner with that!


“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3


5. Words can create.

What we think – and especially what we say – impacts the world around us. And that includes the people you love – as well as the people you don’t.

We all believe the world is in more trouble than it’s ever been. So use the creative power of your words to make the world a better place.


For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17



Here are a few more words from the Word about words … and reasons to be careful what you say.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1:3)

I will proclaim the name of the Lord.
    Oh, praise the greatness of our God! (Deuteronomy 32:3)

As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:10-11)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1-5)

Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.” (Revelation 19:9)

Helping Your Man Take Leadership

male leadership

First, he needs to know that you are following him. Even if he’s not a very seasoned leader.

Because a man can never become a really great leader if no one is willing to follow him.

In a word, he needs your willingness to submit to his leadership.

  • Submission really means that you trust and respect him.
  • It does not mean that you follow him blindly and mindlessly.

Second, he really needs your feedback.

Both Scripture and research show that men need to be open to the influence of their wives. Otherwise, they’re doomed to fail.


However, your feedback must never be
in the form of criticism, attack, blame, or advice.


What he desperately needs to hear is when he is getting it right … when he’s doing something that pleases you … that makes you happy.

And remember he needs you to help him look good to anyone who’s watching. He’ll stand taller and work harder than you ever thought possible. Yes, just give him that, and he’ll pull out all the stops to please you – more so than you ever imagined.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • How many women today are willing to submit to their husband’s leadership?
  • What type of feedback do you see most women give to men?
  • What kind of results do they get?

The Wounded Warrior

wounded warrior

God created men to be Warriors. Amazing. Wonderful. And they are. But so many of our men don’t feel at all like those words describe who they are, especially in the eyes of the women they love. And that makes me sad. I hope it makes you sad, too.

I’ve studied the Psychology of Men at both the graduate and the post-doctoral levels, taught at two Christian universities, and written books on this popular subject. I know that:

The Wounded Warrior

As a normal part of growing up, most men experience relational trauma that women don’t. For example, they’re taught to disconnect from their mothers. Shamed into disconnecting. Usually by 3 years of age. As were their fathers. Which means their fathers are also disconnected. Leaving him with no one to help him understand himself.

Male Relational Dread

Not having learned to deal with emotions in relationship when he was a boy, a man often continues to feel intensely afraid of conflict, as well as connection. Bergman (1995) described this emotional experience as male relational dread.

His fear is characterized by a sense of inevitable, never-ending disaster and an expectation of immense and irreparable damage.

Even though he may desperately want connection, a man may interfere with activation of his own attachment system by “withdrawing, striking out, tuning out, changing the subject, joking, being nice, falling silent” (p. 83).

As Bergman has observed in his workshops, men may have sufficient experiential evidence that disconnection is the better, safer, way to go.

“The men—sometimes with good reason—did not trust the women to let go of their images of men and to accept male vulnerability” (p. 83).

[And we haven’t mentioned the reality of abuse. It’s tough enough when it comes from another man. I can only imagine what it’s like for those who have been abused by women.]

So what can be done?

The short answer is that men need empathy. The more difficult task, however, is to get the women in their lives to understand and empathize with them without adding further shame, manipulation, and trauma.

The sadest part of that – most women don’t even recognize what they are doing to the man they expect to protect, love, and cherish them.

Always remember, if a man is defensively withdrawn or angry, he probably has a very good reason.

If society is confused about boys and men, then so may boys and men be confused about themselves. The goal is not to become feminine in the process of increased self-understanding, but to find the freedom to be more fully themselves.

There aren’t many safe places in a man’s world, but men can learn to acknowledge their need for a safe place. Negotiating the world of masculinity is a dangerous endeavor, yet the rewards of doing so successfully are many.

Let’s learn to be wholeheartedly
on the side of the man we love!

Not Really That Simple

Men are far more complex than we realize.

Women have strong beliefs about men – mostly false beliefs that are frequently perpetuated by the men themselves.

Women don’t understand how a man thinks, what he feels, and why he behaves the way he does.

What is obvious to a man can be utterly confusing to a woman.

So my goal is to end – or at least begin to end – her confusion about men.

Listen to this excerpt from my book:
Part 5, The Wonder of a Man, Chapter 17

Access the exclusive Audio Edition of Ephesians 5 Romance: the Truth about Love as it is being released on Patreon.

NOTE: Audio may take a few minutes to load, depending on the speed of your internet connection. So please be patient.

A Different Man

it’s a woman’s job to love & pray for her man. It’s God’s job to make him grow … according to His plan, not hersDo you wish you were married to a different man? Or could change the one you have? You’ve probably heard the saying that when a man marries a woman he’s hoping she’ll never change, whereas a woman marries a man hoping that he will. It’s actually more than a hope for her. He may actually be her Main Project.

But men are not projects. They are people.

I don’t like to be the bearer of bad tidings, ladies, but God only created one perfect man thus far. And he’s required nearly six decades to refine!

On the Bright Side, however, if the Lord is doing such a great job on this one, I believe He can do the same with your guy! Your man can be so much more, and you can actually help him become Your Fearless Leader in the Dance of Romance!

Simply put, it’s a woman’s job to love her man and pray for him. It’s God’s job to make him grow … and according to His plan, not hers. PROVERBS 3:5

Your man wants to be your Leader in the Dance of Romance … to protect you and to guide you and to hold you … to choreograph the Dance to maximize your pleasure in being with him.

But much of the time we’re shooting ourselves in the foot by doing all the things that don’t work to change him … instead of doing things that do work to change him … things that he actually wants you to do to shape his behavior! Go figure.

You can learn what works … and unlearn what doesn’t!

Anxious & Frustrated

Anxious & Frustrated Couple

NOTE: This article is available in audio! Click here to listen now.

Are you feeling anxious and frustrated? Most couples who seek help are.

Feeling anxious and frustrated is a strong indicator that you are being misunderstood.

A few years ago, a young couple came into my office for their first session of marriage counseling, and right away I could tell that the husband didn’t want to be there. He took one look at me, and by the expression on his face, I could just imagine what he was thinking.

“Great. Just great. Our last therapist was a man, and he seemed pretty good, but my wife didn’t think he was helpful. So now we’re going to talk to a female counselor? Oh, brother! Here we go again. Only this time, I’m going to get it in stereo. Ok, suck it up, buddy, and get ready to go three rounds with not one, but two women hammering away at you for the next 45 minutes. And at the end of it, you get to write the woman a check. I’m such a lucky guy.”

His wife appeared a little anxious – and a lot frustrated. She began with a very intense explanation, even before they were seated.

“He never talks to me. In fact, all I get is the cold shoulder. Whenever I try to discuss an issue, he tunes me out! He just sits there, staring at the TV. Sometimes he gets up and storms out of the room … without saying a word! He’s just so insensitive. I don’t see how this marriage will ever work if he’s not willing to talk about things. I’m ready to give up. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get him involved with the family. How can he not care about his own wife and family?”

I listened patiently to her lament, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her husband slowly sinking into his end of the sofa.

I nodded understandingly at his wife, then said, “I can see how hard you’re working at this – trying to make your marriage work – and how distressed you are. This is really, really hard for you.”

Anticipating my alliance, she sat up straighter and listened intently as I joined her in her frustration.

“Being in a painful relationship is incredibly difficult, I know. And you know what else? … We’ve actually been lied to.”

Her husband continued to sink a bit deeper, while a slight smile stole across his wife’s face as she waited for more confirmation of what she thought she already knew – that she was right, and he was wrong.

“Yes,” I continued. “We’ve been lied to. We’ve been led to believe that men are insensitive jerks. That they’re not in touch with their emotions – if they even have any. That they just don’t get it. It’s like the elevator doesn’t stop on that floor. But the truth is … men are actually more sensitive than women.”

The wife tipped her head sideways, like a bright-eyed cocker spaniel who couldn’t believe her ears. I imagined she thought, “What? This can’t be right! This woman is not going to be helpful. She obviously doesn’t know anything about men!”

Anticipanxiety and frustrationating her confusion, I supported my statement with some research findings, and she appeared to be a little bit more interested. I imagined she was thinking, “Well, maybe she does know a little something about men. Maybe she can fix my husband … or at least get him to talk to me!”

At the other end of the sofa, her husband seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, sat up a little straighter, and almost smiled. If he had been more verbally inclined at that point, he might have said something like,

“Hey, this woman gets us guys. This therapy stuff might actually work this time. Thank you, Lord! … I just hope my wife pays real close attention.”

from Ephesians 5 Romance
The Truth About Love

Feeling anxious and frustrated is a strong indicator that you are being misunderstood.

And misunderstanding is based on misinformation.
I’m here to help you clear up the confusion.

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the House

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the HouseHave you ever wondered how to get your husband to do more around the house? It’s the number one thing women say they want from their man. So why are we so unsuccessful at eliciting his help? Because we miss the most important factor!

I recently read an impassioned post on Instagram. This lovely young woman had been away at work all day only to come home to chaos.

  • She took a time out, regrouped, and restarted.
  • Her husband went to the gym.

Her advice to women is that they don’t have to do everything perfectly. But it was clear she’d been trying really hard to do just that.

What is the One Thing she could have done that would have made all the difference for her and for her family?

Honestly, as an expert in male psychology, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when she stated, “… then my husband said in the middle of the chaos he was going to the gym.” Men hate confrontation … and women’s angry expectations that men support them in the madness to make everything perfect.

The Truth is:

  • Help around the house is NOT the number one thing every woman wants.
  • What she really wants is to be valued. cherished. loved. more than anything else.

And her husband wants to be her priority as well. Not treated like an employee … or worse yet … one of the kids who needs to get in line with the program.

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the House?

When you make your husband – your relationship with your husband – your first priority, he will value, cherish, love you more than anything else on the face of this earth. And he will begin to do more around the house … without being asked.

Learn how to make him your priority without losing yourself!
A Wise Woman’s Guide to Life & Love by Dr. Debi Smith

How to Take Care of a Man’s Heart

How to Take Care of a Man's HeartI love to see a woman who knows how to love her man. She knows he’s sensitive to her. And she uses that knowledge to build him up.

Consequently, she responds lovingly to the man that God created him to be. Affirming both who he is – as well as who he is is becoming.

How does she do it? A Queen gives her King something he cannot get anywhere else. She nurtures his heart. Something every man needs. Daily.

For example, these women know their men well.

Queen Theresa

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a meeting led by a man whose teachings had greatly impacted my life. At the end of his presentation, I walked up to thank him for what he had done in accelerating my own spiritual growth.

Within moments, his wife was by his side. As she snuggled his arm with great affection, I gave her a quick, one-sentence summary of what I’d been saying to her husband.

She was all smiles. “Isn’t he great? Have you listened to his talk on _______? It’s the best! Amazing & powerful. I think we have it on the back table. You should get a copy!”

The man had been friendly & cordial up to that point. But he was obviously exhausted.

However, at the sound of her voice, his face broke into the one of the most joyous smiles I’d ever seen on a man. Her actions & her words were a mirror reflecting how God saw him.

Suddenly he just couldn’t help himself
because he was basking in her reflection of him.

Although he was a gifted speaker, he was an introvert. She was an extrovert. And I had the distinct impression she was rescuing him. I could see how tired he was. But she could feel it.

Theresa knows How to Take Care of a Man’s Heart

Queen Cherie

Just this morning, I was watching a video on YouTube. Different guy. One I’d not heard speak before. He asked his wife to come up & pray before he began. As soon as she began to pray, her enthusiasm for the Lord made him smile.

Most importantly, she then touched her husband’s shoulder & continued, “And, Lord, this amazing, handsome, talented, kind, wonderful,” [paused with her hand on his back and head briefly on his shoulder] “man. God, we just pray, Lord, all of what you have to bring through him. God, we just say yes to that, too.”

As a result, his face lit up like a little boy’s on Christmas morning.
One who’d suddenly discovered exactly what wanted under the Tree.

  • I actually replayed this clip several times.
  • Such joy! Such fun! Such pure delight!

Cherie knows How to Take Care of a Man’s Heart

Both of these women understood their own man.

  • They knew his hopes & fears.
  • As well as the nature of his sensitivity.
  • And they knew how to nurture his heart.

In conclusion, you can’t love & encourage your man if you don’t take time to get to know his heart at the deepest level possible. It begins with listening closely.

Would you like to know more?

In Honor of Christian Men

Christian MenYes, you were born to be a hero.
And you were created to be loved & honored.

I celebrate who you are and acknowledge your incomparable contributions as husbands and fathers, coworkers and friends.

The world doesn’t recognize how truly amazing you are. Nor are you affirmed and encouraged as much as you should be – even within the church.

You protect and provide for your loved ones, helping them solve problems, with a deep desire to see them become the best they can be.

I admire your dedication to keep on keeping on.
Even when your own needs (far too often) go unmet.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.”EPHESIANS 3:14-17a