What do you believe about women? You need to have an accurate understanding of her if you want to know what a she wants and needs in a relationship. And so you can be aware of the ways the enemy deceives her. (And this info is no less necessary if you happen to be a woman.) We’re different, you know.
Men and women are not only different by nature, but are also unaware of just how different they are … and how they are different. Most believe – and this is one time men and women erroneously agree – that women are more sensitive than men.
[callout]In reality, research has shown that men are
actually more sensitive than women![/callout]
However, men are sensitive about different things than women are.
And they express their emotions differently.
Yes, men express feelings. Inescapably.
We can’t understand that until we examine our responses and interpret them according to the correct template. But more about that later …
We also speak different languages.
That is, the same words don’t hold the same meaning for men as they do for women. So many couples who are experiencing relationship problems need an interpreter.
In fact, what I mostly do during a couple’s counseling session is translate “what he just said” into words that she can understand, and then translate “what she just said” into words that he can understand.
So on the surface, it seems like poor communication is the problem.
But like so many other things in life, there’s more to it than that. The lack of connection and understanding run deeper than mere word-choice.
There are some fundamental biological and social differences that lead to very different world views – a situation that’s not easily resolved … especially when it prevents us from even trying to understand.
At the root, we find the commonly held belief that “men are simple” and “women are complicated.” I hear that a lot … so much so that it seems to be universally accepted as an immutable fact of life – one that gets in the way of any hope for a better connection … or dancing well together.
Author Grantley Morris put it this way:
There seems a common belief that women are more complicated than men. This belief has perhaps contributed to more marriage problems than any other belief.
Men generally conclude from it that women are so hard to understand that there’s no point in even trying to understand them. (Women who try to maintain an aura of mystery may be doing so to their own hurt.)
And women tend to assume that men are so easy to understand that there is no need to even try to understand them better.
So when it comes to better understanding the opposite sex, it’s often the case that men feel defeated before they start
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
- As you consider today’s culture, what are commonly held beliefs about women?
- How many of them are positive?
- How many of them are negative?
