For the last several years running, the most popular post on our Psychology of Men blog has been “Why Do Men Stonewall?”
Stonewalling is withdrawing and refusing to respond. So what can you do about?
Continue reading “Why Do Men Stonewall?”Psychology of Men, Women, & Marriage
What Works, What Doesn’t, & Why | Dr. Debi Smith, PsyD
For the last several years running, the most popular post on our Psychology of Men blog has been “Why Do Men Stonewall?”
Stonewalling is withdrawing and refusing to respond. So what can you do about?
Continue reading “Why Do Men Stonewall?”You know My Story. I was raised apart from my father. Married at 18. Divorced by 35. A single mom with 3 sons, very little work experience, and a high school diploma. I don’t know if I ever asked, “Why me?” Honestly, that shipped sailed so long ago that I don’t remember. But I did ask questions. A lot of questions.
Perhaps your story is similar in some way. Your dreams didn’t come true, and you’ve tried to understand. Perhaps you’ve asked one (or more) of these questions:
Asking why – or any of those other questions – will never get us anywhere.
In other words, how you see the problem is the problem.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing
of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)
“What does this experience make possible?”
Some examples …
For instance – although I had never ever wanted to go through divorce – that experience made something new possible. My dream of going to college was always simmering on the back burner. But I hadn’t the freedom to go to school and manage my marriage at the same time. My then-husband opposed all my attempts for self-improvement. His decision to leave freed me to become who I am created to be.
Failure. Waiting. Grief. Hardship. Opposition. It took me 4 1/2 years more to actually get started, but once I did, I fairly flew. My experience had developed New Stuff in me. Humility. Patience. Gratefulness. Strength. Fortitude.
PLUS a Bachelor’s of Arts degree. A Master of Arts degree. And a Doctor of Psychology degree. All back-to-back!!! Who could have seen that coming?
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:1-3)
If Your Life is anything like mine, you have one (or more) situations going on right now for which there is no plausible solution.
If you and I were in charge, we’d create a Straight Path to the Top. But would that really be better?
God’s ways always include Something More Wonderful – something you and I can’t even imagine – that will reveal His Glory on the earth.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
So the Lord God said to the serpent,
“Because you have done this,
Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel.” (Genesis 3:14-15)
So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. (Genesis 6:13-14)
The Lord said [to Moses], “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:7-10)
After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: “… Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” (Joshua 1:1-6)
Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. (Isaiah 7:14)
There are so many more Wonderful Stories in the Bible.
True Stories! Stories of Jesus. Stories of people like you and me.
Remember: When God speaks, something happens. Though it often doesn’t make sense to us at the start, He gets the job done in a way that only He can! Amen?
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
QUESTION: What problem(s) are you facing today that only God can solve?
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