What do women need?

what do women need

What do women need? Her primary need is for your understanding and love. And all you really need to understand is that she’s not a guy. She’s a girl. And love her simply because of who she is.

The Bottom Line: Both men and women are created in the Image of God to work together in harmony, and each is designed for a unique role in the relationship. One is creatively designed to lead, and his partner’s trust and respect are essential for him to be able to lead well. The other is creatively designed to follow, and her partner’s love and understanding are essential if she is to follow well.

A woman needs her man to protect her, to guide her, and to hold her.
And as her leader, a man is designed by God to do just that!

1. Please Protect Me

As a man, you were designed to protect her. It’s a fact of life that men are bigger and stronger than women. And you guys have this particularly wonderful quality about you: You have much, much, much high testosterone levels. A woman’s body produces testosterone, too, but far, far less of it than a man does … without even giving it so much as a first or a second thought.

However, this very fact can make her afraid of you. When she feels intimidated or threatened by a man, she will use the only surefire weapon she has: her words.

And given that you are sensitive to her, her words usually work to “cut you down to size.” Not a bad thing if you were her enemy. But if you’re her partner in life, that will make it next to impossible for you to be able to protect her.

3 simple things women need from their husbands2. Please Guide Me

Okay, this one may be difficult for your woman to admit. But she really wishes someone knew the answers. And she really wishes it was you who knew. She loves it when you solve a problem for her … and you do, too! Your brain was made to solve problems, so she’s actually helping you fulfill your purpose in life when she accepts your guidance. So it’s very satisfying for you when you win in this way … finding a workable solution that makes life better for her.

However, guys often get a bum rap for trying to solve a gal’s problems for her … because sometimes she just wants him to listen. So if that’s what you want, all you have to do is tell him that up front.

Most men are more than happy to provide whatever will make you happy, but you must be specific about what you want because they can’t think like a woman … at all!

3. Please Hold Me

This one is probably the most important of the three things a woman desires from the man she loves. And it happens so naturally while you dance. (Maybe that’s the reason I love waltzing so much!) Women not only want to be touched, but they want to be held … lovingly, caringly, respectfully. Research shows that being held by someone you love will dramatically reduce anxiety in a matter of minutes! We’ve all seen an anxious toddler benefit from being scooped up and held by a loving parent.

As adults, we’re no different.
We all need to be held sometimes.
And women need it every day!

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS for men:

  • Do you protect your wife from unpleasant situations? How so?
  • Have you learned to guide her with understanding and love?
  • Do you spend time holding your woman every day?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS for women:

  • How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to protect you?
  • How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to guide you?
  • How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to hold you?

To Pray More Effectively, You May Need to Pray Differently.

Most women pray for their men, of course. But what is the content of your prayers?

  • Are you just telling the Lord to help him to get his act together so your life will be easier?
  • Or are you sincerely interested in meeting your man’s emotional needs?

If you want to pray effectively for your man, you’ll need to get into the cave with him.

  • Spiritually and emotionally speaking, that is (this takes time with the Holy Spirit).
  • Rather than verbally or invasively (which we do in our flesh) as noted in my post about the Man Cave.

For example, don’t insist he talk about his feelings. Because he may not fully understand them yet himself.

Instead, Learn to Pray Differently

The first steps are simple.

  • Listen more.
  • Talk less.

That alone will give him more space to talk – when he’s ready. And you’ll learn the most you can about him. He may not say much. But listen to his words. And pay attention to his actions. His actions will speak loudest.

The latter steps take time.

  • Listen to the Holy Spirit.
  • Pray according to God’s will.

Because you’re not a man, you’ll need a spirit of wisdom and revelation (Ephesians 1:17) that will enable you to pray for him in accordance with God’s will and perspective on the situation. Yes, you may have some great ideas, but this may not be the best time to share them with your man. Wait upon the Lord, trusting that He cares a lot more about what’s going on with your man than you do.

Warning!

Keep the content of your prayers between you and the Lord. Your man’s vulnerability is not a subject you should be sharing with your mother, your sister, or your girlfriends.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. (Ephesians 1:17)

He who finds a wife finds what is good
    and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)