Category:Love Stories

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Sometimes It’s the Girl

sometimes it's the girl

Women make a lot of assumptions – filling in the blanks with thoughts that paint a negative picture. We usually do it because we’re actually afraid from the beginning … afraid that something will go wrong. So we’re almost relieved when it does. Then we can blame the guy. And that’s so very wrong!

Romance always comes with a test.

Wrapped up in the wonder of Love, we try to protect our precious possession. In doing so, we begin tiptoeing around. Which will raise questions for our partner, of course. Soon they start to wonder about our actions … or our motives … or both.

[callout]Questioning one another’s goodness – or at least
their good intentions – will always lead us down the path to failure.[/callout]

We miscommunicate and don’t know how to untangle it all. We misinterpret. Jump to false conclusions. We “knew it was too good to be true” and begin to seriously doubt Love. We fail to believe the best and begin to assume the worst. We start guessing about everything …

He loves me? He loves me not?
Daisies don’t tell.

Sometimes it’s the girl who messes up. Remembering past pain and disappointments, we withdraw … or we attack. We start guessing – or asking our friends –what we should do next. It’s like we can’t see the forest for the trees. And we don’t even realize it’s our fear – and more particularly, our defense against feeling afraid – that keeps us from having everything we’ve been hoping to have in Love. So we erect walls that no one could possibly hope to scale. The ultimate in self-protection.

[callout]It’s not your fear that ruins your relationship.
The only problem couples ever have is … Defensiveness.[/callout]

If you struggle to create or maintain a Healthy Romance, you are probably afraid of being hurt or getting dumped. And instead of having a healthy conversation about your fear, you’re defensive, building self-protecting walls that not only keep out what’s potentially bad or hurtful, but also everything that’s right and good for you.

[callout]If you are Christians, never forget that you are now saints,
learning to walk in Newness of Life. And behave accordingly.[/callout]

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:22-24)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • Looking at people around you – or in the movies or on TV – do you notice a tendency (a) to blame men or (b) to blame women for relationship failure?
  • Why do you think that is?
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He loves me!

Yesterday I ran a few errands on my way to work. I stopped off for a fill-up. And slipped my credit card into my pocket. Then I went to the market to pick up a few things. Ahead of schedule.

Let’s see …
What needs to go in the fridge?
I switched things around in my bag.
The day flew! I fetched my perishables
to put in the fridge and headed home.
A highly efficient day.

Early this morning, waiting in line at Starbucks Drive Thru, I realized my credit card was missing. A brief car-search ensued. Waiting for my coffee (I was trapped between a bazillion cars so I couldn’t bail), I mentally retraced my steps. No luck.

I’m practicing patience – which means I make no provision for panic – so I began to pray. Not with importunity, but with thanksgiving as I’m learning:

Thank You, Lord, that You have me in Your Loving Hands.
I don’t know where my credit card is, but You do. And You take care of me.

Then I began to praise Him with a childhood favorite. “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever. I will sing. I will sing!” (Psalm 89:1)

Then another old favorite: Victory in Jesus, My Savior Forever.
And there in the midst of the 2nd chorus, I suddenly remembered
where I’d left my card: in the bag – with the non-perishables.
Non-perishable. Like The Lord’s Love. How cool is that?

Suddenly I was flooded with gratefulness for His Goodness.
And that’s when it hit me Big Time …

he-loves-meThis is love: not that we loved God,
but that he loved us and sent his Son
as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
(1John 4:10)

That may seem like a no-brainer to you, but sometimes the Truth of that overwhelms my soul. I hope it does yours, too.

Because when you fully realize how much He loves you, Friend
life gets sweeter – no matter what’s happening around you –
and all you want to do is live for Him!
… with or without a credit card.

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Lessons from the Dance Floor

submission

Whether you’re young or old, you need to learn about mutual submission in Christian marriage: It’s the Beauty of the Dance of Romance!

It’s the guy’s role to make the dance an enjoyable experience for his girl. So he needs to pay close attention to what she likes and what she isn’t comfortable with.

But he can’t take responsibility for pleasing you if you’re always one step ahead of him. You have to let him lead.

That is, your goal is to get into sync with his rhythm. And you do that for one reason:

It will build his confidence as your leader.

No, he won’t get it right all the time. And neither will you. You’re both learning.

If he’s your husband – or you want him to be – it’s even more important that you learn how to encourage his leadership, especially when he’s off a bit. You could give him feedback, but he can tell by the expression on your face when he’s off. He’s way more sensitive to that than you realize.

The best part, however, is that when he’s “off” you get the opportunity to pray for him and to trust the Lord, Who is responsible for leading your lead.

How cool is that?

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