What do women need? Her primary need is for your understanding and love. And all you really need to understand is that she’s not a guy. She’s a girl. And love her simply because of who she is.
The Bottom Line: Both men and women are created in the Image of God to work together in harmony, and each is designed for a unique role in the relationship. One is creatively designed to lead, and his partner’s trust and respect are essential for him to be able to lead well. The other is creatively designed to follow, and her partner’s love and understanding are essential if she is to follow well.
A woman needs her man to protect her, to guide her, and to hold her.
And as her leader, a man is designed by God to do just that!
1. Please Protect Me
As a man, you were designed to protect her. It’s a fact of life that men are bigger and stronger than women. And you guys have this particularly wonderful quality about you: You have much, much, much high testosterone levels. A woman’s body produces testosterone, too, but far, far less of it than a man does … without even giving it so much as a first or a second thought.
However, this very fact can make her afraid of you. When she feels intimidated or threatened by a man, she will use the only surefire weapon she has: her words.
And given that you are sensitive to her, her words usually work to “cut you down to size.” Not a bad thing if you were her enemy. But if you’re her partner in life, that will make it next to impossible for you to be able to protect her.
2. Please Guide Me
Okay, this one may be difficult for your woman to admit. But she really wishes someone knew the answers. And she really wishes it was you who knew. She loves it when you solve a problem for her … and you do, too! Your brain was made to solve problems, so she’s actually helping you fulfill your purpose in life when she accepts your guidance. So it’s very satisfying for you when you win in this way … finding a workable solution that makes life better for her.
However, guys often get a bum rap for trying to solve a gal’s problems for her … because sometimes she just wants him to listen. So if that’s what you want, all you have to do is tell him that up front.
Most men are more than happy to provide whatever will make you happy, but you must be specific about what you want because they can’t think like a woman … at all!
3. Please Hold Me
This one is probably the most important of the three things a woman desires from the man she loves. And it happens so naturally while you dance. (Maybe that’s the reason I love waltzing so much!) Women not only want to be touched, but they want to be held … lovingly, caringly, respectfully. Research shows that being held by someone you love will dramatically reduce anxiety in a matter of minutes! We’ve all seen an anxious toddler benefit from being scooped up and held by a loving parent.
As adults, we’re no different.
We all need to be held sometimes.
And women need it every day!
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS for men:
- Do you protect your wife from unpleasant situations? How so?
- Have you learned to guide her with understanding and love?
- Do you spend time holding your woman every day?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS for women:
- How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to protect you?
- How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to guide you?
- How well do you receive your husband’s attempts to hold you?
I watch White Christmas multiple times every December. My favorite scene is Phil and Judy (Danny Kaye and Vera Ellen) in The Best Things Happen While You Dance.
Women make a lot of assumptions — filling in “the blanks” with thoughts that paint a negative picture. How wrong is that?
