Men are amazing! Positively amazing. You may not share my opinion. Especially if you’re a man who’s failed. Or a woman who’s been deeply hurt. But it’s a fact. An absolute fact. And the woman writing this? She’s been hurt by men. A lot.
I have sons.
Three of them.
Raised by a single mom.
And I wasn’t a psychologist back then. So I had no clue about what men were really like. Fortunately, my sons have forgiven me – for the most part – for all the mistakes I made.
My youngest son graduated from college
the same year I earned my doctorate at Biola University.
The same year I wrote my dissertation on mothers and sons.
I cried while writing it.
Because I had no clue what a boy’s experience
was like until I started doing research for that paper.
I wasn’t alone in my ignorance. Most women don’t understand how a man thinks. What he feels. Or why he behaves the way he does. Simply put, a man is complicated because a woman has no explanation for him … at least not one that he readily offers.
So women are confused about men. And men are sometimes confused about themselves. But mostly, men operate by Very Different Unspoken Rules than women do.
What do you know that ain’t so?
Men try to act as though they have it all together.
And most women erroneously believe that men think they have it all together.
But most men struggle with a degree of anxiety and/or depression. Almost every day. However, it plays out differently for men than it does for women.
- Men worry if they will ever be good enough.
- Some men fake it by adopting a domineering persona.
- Other men withdraw, choosing to live a life of quiet desperation.
But the Lord sees a man differently than he sees himself.
Gideon had given up. Filled with anxiety about his future. Threshing wheat in a wine press. Hiding from the Midianites. Then the angel of the Lord showed up. Told Gideon what he thought of him. And a whole new conversation began. One that changed everything.
When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon,
he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”
(Judges 6:12)
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- How are men portrayed in the media today?
- What are some commonly held beliefs about men?
- What life experiences have affected the way you see men today?
EXERCISE
- MEN: Ask the Lord how He sees you. Ask every day until you hear His answer. Then engage in an ongoing conversation with Him about who He made you to be.
- WOMEN: Ask the Lord how He sees the man you love. Ask every day until you hear His answer. Then engage in conversation with the Lord about your role in his life.
