How, What, & Why of Men

The boys were outside playing on a sunny afternoon in May, when my husband announced, “I don’t think I want to be married anymore.”

I was a hot mess.

My whole world suddenly fell apart. Everything I’d counted on was disappearing right before my eyes. As the painful, scary hours turned into months, all my hopes for higher education seemed lost as I gave everything I had to being a single mom … and keeping us all afloat.

  • Emotionally.
  • Spiritually.
  • Financially.

I needed to work full time again, leaving my sons to deal with the loss of their father, and now the loss of their mother … as they knew her.

The boys and I struggled for 4 1/2 years before something began to shift. Looking back on it now, I know it was The Lord Himself. Because whenever we think “impossible,” we can be absolutely sure He’s having a different thought.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ISAIAH 55:8-9

When The Lord puts His mind to something, hang on tight! It’s going to be a wild ride!

I was 40 by the time I started college, and – like most older students – I wanted the content of my studies to have practical application to everyday life. As a single mother raising three sons, choosing my topic was easy. Every paper I wrote was about boys and men.

Writing my dissertation on Mothers & Sons was also the obvious choice, in part because I had already collected so much information, but also because I realized I had so much more to learn!

I still wanted to know …

  • How men think
  • What – if anything – men feel
  • Why they tend to do what they do

I was in for a real surprise. Men have been eager to share with me. Probably because I’m one of the few women who has cared enough to ask. And I don’t try to change them. That’s not what they need.

  • They not only have different biology, they have totally different life experiences that lead to a very different worldview.
  • Men feel very deeply. In fact, they are far more sensitive than we think they are. Even more sensitive than a woman – about certain things.
  • Their behavior reflects their God-given purpose on this earth and/or the frustrations around its non-fulfillment.

I have so much to tell you that it won’t fit in one post. So if you want to know more:

2 Truths You Must Embrace to Live an Authentic Life

I’ve always believed that knowing Jesus should make a real difference – not only in terms of where we spend the hereafter – but also in the here-&-now of our daily existence. So how do we connect the dots between what we believe & what happens to us in “real” life? Or do we?

As you may recall from Genesis 3, the serpent started up a conversation with Eve back in The Beginning. The most crafty of beings, he got her to question the Truth about:

  1. God’s goodness &
  2. her own identity

If you’re going to connect the dots …

… between what you believe & what you experience, you need to embrace the Truth about those same 2 Things!

[callout]What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. ― A.W. Tozer[/callout]

The enemy probably tries to do the same thing to you that he did to Eve – virtually every day.

  • He plants doubt to get you to question God’s care & personal involvement in your life.
  • Mostly he distracts you with everyday physical-realm life — what you know with your five senses.
  • He wants to keep you thinking the spiritual realm is — just something that happens in the movies.

He doesn’t want you to know who you really are in Christ because he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against you.

So he does the only thing he can do: confuse & intimidate you with everything that’s going wrong – to keep you living your life in the flesh.

My Prayer for You (Purloined from Paul)

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven & on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted & established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide & long & high & deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. EPHESIANS 3:14-19, NIV

Marriage Miracles

Have you experienced a miracle in your marriage? Whether it was directly about your relationship or another aspect (e.g., parenting, finance), your story is intended to encourage others to believe for a breakthrough … even in situations that seem impossible from a human standpoint. That is, something changed in circumstances that were/are …

  • not even remotely reasonable
  • beyond anyone’s hope
  • simply impossible.

If something unexpected and wonderful has happened to you, please share it in the comments below. Or email it to me.

If you’re still waiting for a miracle, please tell me about that, too!

Because you’re not alone.