How, What, & Why of Men

The boys were outside playing on a sunny afternoon in May, when my husband announced, “I don’t think I want to be married anymore.”

I was a hot mess.

My whole world suddenly fell apart. Everything I’d counted on was disappearing right before my eyes. As the painful, scary hours turned into months, all my hopes for higher education seemed lost as I gave everything I had to being a single mom … and keeping us all afloat.

  • Emotionally.
  • Spiritually.
  • Financially.

I needed to work full time again, leaving my sons to deal with the loss of their father, and now the loss of their mother … as they knew her.

The boys and I struggled for 4 1/2 years before something began to shift. Looking back on it now, I know it was The Lord Himself. Because whenever we think “impossible,” we can be absolutely sure He’s having a different thought.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ISAIAH 55:8-9

When The Lord puts His mind to something, hang on tight! It’s going to be a wild ride!

I was 40 by the time I started college, and – like most older students – I wanted the content of my studies to have practical application to everyday life. As a single mother raising three sons, choosing my topic was easy. Every paper I wrote was about boys and men.

Writing my dissertation on Mothers & Sons was also the obvious choice, in part because I had already collected so much information, but also because I realized I had so much more to learn!

I still wanted to know …

  • How men think
  • What – if anything – men feel
  • Why they tend to do what they do

I was in for a real surprise. Men have been eager to share with me. Probably because I’m one of the few women who has cared enough to ask. And I don’t try to change them. That’s not what they need.

  • They not only have different biology, they have totally different life experiences that lead to a very different worldview.
  • Men feel very deeply. In fact, they are far more sensitive than we think they are. Even more sensitive than a woman – about certain things.
  • Their behavior reflects their God-given purpose on this earth and/or the frustrations around its non-fulfillment.

I have so much to tell you that it won’t fit in one post. So if you want to know more: