Does he have a problem with anger? Or does he avoid emotional intimacy? Or both?
If you have either of these in your marriage, you have probably done everything you can think of to fix your spouse.
But here’s the deal.
You cannot fix another person.
You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix you.
But that’s what most of us try to do. We try to change one another. We judge what we see and deem it “wrong.” Even if we do know exactly what the other person needs, we are still powerless to do anything about it. Because change is the domain of the Holy Spirit.
You choose whether to live under the curse.
When Eve and Adam ate the forbidden fruit, they both faced death for the first time. Spiritual and relational death. A curse was pronounced over each of them, as well as over their relationship with one another.
- She would bear children in pain.
- He would struggle to make a living from the earth.
- Her desire would be for her husband: to fix, manage, and control him.
- He would rule over her: that is, resist her efforts to rule him.
You can choose Freedom in Christ.
Jesus didn’t die to set God’s people free from the Romans (other people). He died to set us free from our own sin. So that we could walk with Him. Talk with Him. Learn from Him. Grow with Him.
So if you want your husband to change, follow the path of freedom and allow His Holy Spirit work in you instead.
- Let Him teach you about your own value and show you how much You mean to Him.
- You’ll be less likely to depend on your husband alone to meet your emotional needs.
- And you just might inspire your husband to be a better man. How cool would that be?
p.s. What’s sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander, guys!
If you want your wife to change, follow the path of freedom and allow His Holy Spirit to work in you instead.
- Let Him teach you how to focus your anger in the right place.
- You’ll be less defensive and better able to show up for intimate conversations.
- You just might help equip your wife to be a better woman. How cool would that be?
References: Genesis 3, John 3:16