Can you guess which couples improve their marriages the most? First, you need to realize that when a couple is struggling, both husband and wife take on defensive positions. They each feel a need for self-protection and instinctively shut down and withdraw; or attack, blame, and criticize the other.
Most women expected their husbands to make the changes. But because men are far more sensitive (and therefore have stronger defenses), they were rarely able to step into the fray until they felt safe. That could take quite a while.
However, when a wife was open to learning about her husband’s experience of her, their healing and growth accelerated rapidly. Whenever a wife persisted in her own default mode, they remained stuck.
When you know the truth about men, you understand why that is.
In short, the woman often holds greater power in the relationship. She usually doesn’t realize how easily she can wipe him out, leaving him emotionally powerless.
Don’t get me wrong here.
I’m not saying the woman is responsible for everything. A man’s choices are still his to make. But the woman is wise to learn how powerful her words are in her husband’s life.
I first developed a course on The Psychology of Men and Masculinity when I taught at Azusa Pacific.
My students were eager to discuss. Before I could explain the syllabus and course requirements, they were already asking questions about men.
The women were surprised to hear the truth about the men.
The men felt understood … and vulnerable.
At some point, I realized: It’s really all about the girl! After all, God Himself said, “It’s not good for the man to be alone.” GENESIS 2:18
That’s why A Wise Woman’s Guide begins and ends with the woman! I believe you are the Wise Woman. Brave. Confident. Focused on finding Goodness in life. Or you wouldn’t be here.
You are the reason I’ve created a Biblically-sound, research-based, practical, personal development guide. I want you to realize and release your feminine power to inspire, influence, and invite your mate into a beautiful experience of life itself. I want you to know how to get what you want without manipulation, drama, or standing on your head.
Because every woman needs to know the truth about men!
Most of the couples I have worked with, even in my former Clinical Practice, were reasonably healthy individuals.
About 75% of men and women could develop new thoughts and behaviors.
They just needed to unlearn what they believed about their mates that wasn’t actually true.
When you know what a man thinks, how he feels, and why he does what he does (instead of what you think he should do), he starts to make more sense to you.
You have a much better idea about how to inspire and influence him. You are better equipped to help him become the man God had in mind when he was created.
Knowing the truth about a man’s makeup and life experiences can also help you decide whether he really is unhealthy or he’s just different than you. Mostly, it’s the latter.
The bottom line is, I don’t want anyone to go through what my family did. I had wasted so much energy with my one-sided efforts to make a beautiful marriage. Despite the bazillion books I’d check out from the library, I hadn’t the slightest idea how to connect with my husband.
No one told me there was an easier way, much less pointed me in the right direction. What I learned changed my own life … after the fact.
Would it have helped change the outcome for my first marriage? I don’t know. But I still wish I’d known then what I know now. That’s the reason I’m creating this podcast for you.
You have the advantage of Wisdom I had to discover on my own! Because no one teaches this stuff in school. Not even in graduate school!