A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

What to do with the pink elephant of self-fulfilling prophecyIf you’re in a not-so-good place right now, you’ve got plenty of company. Many of us have been where you are at one time or another – myself included. The Truth is that we always end up where we are because of what we believe … about ourselves and our mates … or future mates.

Most of us act as though we’re still living under the curse. Is it any wonder that women continue to try to fix, manage, and control their husbands, and that men resist their wives’ efforts and attempt to establish their identity in their work?

Many couples spend the bigger part of their days imagining the worst about one another. Then they’re surprised when their evening doesn’t go well. How crazy is that?

And most counselors spend a lot of time rehashing what’s wrong with one or partner or the other, believing that their analysis will produce the magic solution to unhappiness. It’s like trying to get rid of a pink elephant by concentrating on how the pink elephant walks and talks and looks.

If it walks and talks and looks like a pink elephant, it must be a pink elephant. So if you want to be rid of it, you don’t analyze it to death. You kick it out and put something better in its place … like a tenderness and love for your mate.”

Excerpt From: Dr. Debi Smith. Ephesians 5 Romance: the Truth about LoveOpens in a new tab.


Dr. Debi is passionate about helping Christian couples & single adults learn more effective ways to apply Biblical principles & the findings of psychological research to everyday life. She is an author & former *professor, as well as a California Licensed Psychologist (21711) & a Texas Licensed Psychologist with Provisional Status (38600). At this time, she is not accepting new patients so she can devote more time to writing & creating educational programs for couples. * Dr. Debi has taught psychology courses at MidAmerica Nazarene University, Azusa Pacific University, & Biola University.

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