An Unexpected Answer

It was Unexpected Answer to a request I’d never made aloud.

My dream had been locked away in the deepest part of My Heart.

But The Lord knows My Heart & My Dreams. (FYI, He knows yours, too!)

Unknowingly, I’d been asking The Lord for a man to love.

A man with My List of 10 particular characteristics.

Then One Fine Day, The Lord unexpectedly answered my silent prayer.

With a question.
You know. Like He does.

I could almost hear His Voice:
“I have this Cute Boy with 9 of those 10 characteristics. Will you take him?”

“Yes!” I replied joyfully.

“Great!” announced The Lord.

“Then I’m going to add a bunch more, totally amazing characteristics to Your List. Things you didn’t even think to ask for. It will be just like Paul wrote about in Ephesians 3:20Opens in a new tab..”

Then He beamed.

The Lord was right, you know.
Because He always is!

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

PSALM 37:4

Suddenly everything changed.

I’d worked so hard for so long. Raising My Three Sons. Earning My Degrees. Teaching My Students. Building My Practice. All I was looking for was a Social Life.

I just wanted to find Fun and Laughter again.

But I got so much more than I’d thought possible!
A Totally Amazing Friend!

Remember My List? The One The Lord upgraded?
Well, it wasn’t long before I realized this Cute Boy has,
not just 9 or 10 wonderful characteristics. He has at least 86!

Literally. I wrote them down.
And I still have That List.

BONUS! He loves all the things I love!

  • Live theatre: opera, ballet
  • Classical Symphony
  • Art museums
  • Dancing
  • Jesus

Who knew there was such a man on the earth?
Suddenly everything had changed.

But I never told the Cute Boy what happened next …

I cried.
More than you can imagine.
Almost daily. For the next 4 months.

First, my tears were the result of being overwhelmed by Sheer Joy!
I was amazed by the fact that The Lord had created such perfectly matched companions … and dance partners. Sometimes I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep.

I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d want to change about this man.
And I still can’t.

Second, I cried from fear … and anticipatory grief.
Because I have a lot of anxious memoriesOpens in a new tab..
If you’ve read my storyOpens in a new tab., you know
my amygdalae have stored
enough data to keep me
sad and running

And I didn’t want the Cute Boy to know. Ever.
But my fears popped up nonetheless.Opens in a new tab.
Defensiveness strikes again.

Clearly this was going to be a Really Big Challenge for me.

To be continued …


Dr. Debi is passionate about helping Christian couples & single adults learn more effective ways to apply Biblical principles & the findings of psychological research to everyday life. She is an author & former professor, as well as a California Licensed Psychologist (21711) & a Texas Licensed Psychologist with Provisional Status (38600). She earned her Doctor of Psychology degree (PsyD) at Rosemead School of Psychology-Biola University, and has taught psychology courses at MidAmerica Nazarene University, Azusa Pacific University, & Biola University. * Dr. Debi has taught psychology courses at MidAmerica Nazarene University, Azusa Pacific University, & Biola University.

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