Living in Love Archives | Page 20 of 72

June 27, 2019October 16, 2019

The Beauty of Different

The following comment was recently posted in response to “embracing the dance” that I had shared on my social media pages: “I don’t agree with the premise that women want the men to lead.”

I hear that a lot, actually. And I wouldn’t want anyone to spend time learning about something they are opposed to right from the start.

But I do believe that women want the men to lead. They are just afraid their own man won’t step up and do it well. So many guys never get the chance … because they are afraid of failure. And of having her point out his failure.

As you can imagine, it is really hard to have two leaders in a dance. And it doesn’t work well for the woman to take that role.

When it’s done well, man and woman operate in unity.
The man is more open to her influence & inspired to do and be all he can for her.

It’s a beautiful experience.

What are your thoughts?

June 21, 2019June 24, 2019

My Moment of Truth

It’s true that my father was absent from my life for 37 years.
And that my first two marriages ended in divorce.

For years I believed
all of that was totally my fault.

Later in life, I started studying men from a very different angle: first as an undergraduate psychology student, then as a grad student, and even now as Psychologist & Couples Counselor.

And I have been amazed by what I learned about men.
So I enthusiastically taught all that I was learning
to any woman who was willing to listen.

Then came My Moment of Truth.

On one Sunny Summer Sunday, I met a Cute Boy. Would I be able to apply all that I had learned about men to my own relationship? I began to experiment. Furthermore, I even confessed I was experimenting with him. And he liked it.

He loved it in fact.
But I freaked out.

I cried.
More than you can imagine.
Almost daily. For the next 4 months.

First, my tears were the result of being overwhelmed by Sheer Joy! I was amazed that there could be such perfectly matched companions … & dance partners. Sometimes I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep.

Second, I cried from fear … anticipatory grief.
Because I have a lot of anxious memories.
If you’ve read my story, you know
my amygdalae have stored
enough data to keep me
sad & running scared
for a long time.

I didn’t want the Cute Boy to know. Not ever.
But my fear had reared its ugly head nonetheless
as I ran head on, smack dab, into My Moment of Truth.

Would I be able to sustain this new approach with him?
What more — if anything — did I need to learn?

… to be continued.

April 23, 2019

Watching the Wind

It’s time for a change, yes? But you’re not sure what to do. Or how to do it. And you are painfully aware that the wind could rise up at any moment to blow away your efforts to take leadership in your family. Plant the seed anyway. Because you are not alone. The Lord is the One responsible for the outcome.

Whoever watches the wind will not plant;
whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formedin a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5