Because you are who God says you are. He put you in Christ and Christ in you. His joyful intention is to make you like Jesus by teaching you to live & to love as He did.

Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin. Romans 6:4-7

The Impact of Trauma on a Man’s Identity

Most – if not all – men have been emotionally traumatized by women they love. Sadly enough, they are most often abused by their own wives.

However, if that woman was Mom, the impact is greater. Because a little boy doesn’t have the wisdom to understand that Mom is wrong about who he is.

Over the last few years, I have seen more and more clients whose mothers had Borderline Personality Disorder. As a result, these men experience symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And if the relationship has been lost through distance or death, their struggle makes their grief extremely complex.

Truth: It’s not what happened that makes life hard. You survived all of that.
The Problem is the lie you have believed about who you are as a result.


  1. Be still.
  2. Become aware of The Lord’s Presence.
    Emotionally or intellectually. Either is good enough.
  3. Ask Him, “Who am I in Your eyes?”
    Write down what He says and reflect on the Truth about who you are.

Good News in God’s Promises!

Instead of your shame you will have a double portion,
And instead of humiliation you will shout for joy over your portion. Isaiah 61

learn more about the psychology of … Men, Women, and Shame

Good News for Men

My goal is to CELEBRATE who you are & to ACKNOWLEDGE your incomparable contributions as husbands & fathers, coworkers & friends.

The world doesn’t recognize how truly amazing you are. Nor are you affirmed & encouraged as much as you should be – even within the church.

You go about life, protecting & providing for your loved ones, helping them solve problems, with a deep desire to see them become the best they can be.

And I admire your dedication to keep on keeping on.
Even when your own needs (far too often) go unmet.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.Ephesians 3:14-17a

Can you hear Him?

Most Christians want to hear The Lord’s Voice. Especially when we’re hurting. Yet most of us admit we don’t hear Him. Usually when we need Him most.

That certainly doesn’t fit with His Promises.

  • You know He is always with you because His Word says He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
  • And Jesus, the Good Shepherd, says, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (John 10:27)

But you probably have the same bad habit that I’m trying to break.

  • You listen with your head.
  • But Jesus doesn’t live in your head: He lives in your heart!

You’re looking for solutions, and He wants to give you Himself!

  • Comfort: The Holy Spirit lives in your heart to comfort you. (Isaiah 61:2)
  • Irresistible Joy: And He is there to teach you all things and remind you of everything Jesus has said to you (John 14:26).

The One Who knows you Best, loves you best!

You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways. (Psalm 139:3)

Burst into songs of joy together,
    you ruins of Jerusalem,
for the The Lord has comforted his people,

    He has redeemed Jerusalem. (Isaiah 52:9)