Sometimes I’m amazed at the silliness of psychology. For years therapists have been telling people need to be complete in themselves (i.e., independent) before they can find a meaningful, satisfying relationship.
It reminds me of what my son said to me when he was a teenager looking for his first part-time job:
Mom, they all want to hire someone “with experience.” How can I get “experience” if no one will hire me?
As Christians, we do that, too. It’s like trying to get it all together before we come to God for help, which, by the way, is a very unbiblical approach.
How can He supply our needs if we are determined to deny that we have any?
In sum, our culture (both inside and outside the Church) tells us that we need to not need anything before our needs can be met. Does that sound as crazy to you as it does to me?
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
The truth is that we all need. It’s a big part of what makes us human and, therefore, not God. As a friend once put it, “Saying someone is ‘too needy’ is like saying they’re ‘too human’!”
The truth is we seek relationships because we are needy people. We’re dependent whether we’re willing to admit it or not. It’s as certain as the Law of Gravity! Even if you don’t buy the whole “gravity thing,” every time you leap into the air, you will still end up on the ground!
Like gravity, our neediness is part of our God-given human nature. We need, and we must depend on Another to meet our needs. Only then can we learn to be interdependent, which then becomes our goal in human relationship.
The question, then, becomes whether we have learned to be “effectively dependent” or to be “ineffectively dependent” on Our Heavenly Father.
More on that next time.