A major fear that remains unspoken for many a Christian woman is that her man will not be the Spiritual Leader of their family. So she takes over, and she doesn’t do it well. Although it’s better for the man to take the lead, especially with the children, she reasons that a female Spiritual Leader is better than no Spiritual Leader.
However, once she’s taken on that role – before or after marriage – it’ll be very difficult for you to step up to the plate. So please be the leader, in every sense of the word. Don’t live life under the curse anymore!
The most important task you have been assigned is to continually direct and redirect your loved ones toward Christ. Only He can meet all their needs … and yours!
Leadership is your responsibility. You were designed to take the lead. God created you with all that it takes right there inside of you. It’s a learning process, for sure, and no man comes into this life knowing how to lead. So get all the support you can.
As a husband, you’ll be held responsible before God for your family. God knew it was Eve who took the first bite of the apple, but He came looking for Adam. You can believe me when I say I know that women can be difficult to love sometimes. I’m one of them, remember?
Remember the Dance?
A man and a woman dancing together in three-quarter time is the best metaphor for – and experience of – Romance.
He takes the lead. She follows. He guides and protects her. She influences him, even as she admires him … and makes him look good to anyone who’s watching.
In one of my favorite waltz videos, so many couples are on the dance floor it’s hard to imagine how they keep twirling around without crashing into one another. That is, unless you realize that each pair has only one leader.
The man’s job is to protect his partner from other couples on the floor, and to guide her steps as they swish and swirl in time to the music. If the woman criticizes what he’s doing or starts to pull him in a different direction, it’ll be virtually impossible for him to take responsibility for the dance.
As Christian women, most of us have been taught that the man is to be the leader in the family. But in reality, women have been running the show for a long time now. Yes, she knows she can make it through life without you.
But can she really live the life she desires?
Yes, she would survive. But in taking charge, she misses the beauty of what God intends your relationship to be. She not only makes it impossible for you to lead, but she denies what her heart and yours are both longing for.
Three Things She Needs From You As Her Leader
She needs you to protect her, to guide her, and to hold her. And as her leader, you are designed by God to do just that!
1. Please Protect Me
As a man, you were designed to protect her. It’s a fact of life that men are bigger and stronger than women. And you guys have this particularly wonderful quality about you: You have much, much, much high testosterone levels. A woman’s body produces testosterone, too, but far, far less of it than a man does … without even giving it so much as a first or a second thought.
However, this very fact can make her afraid of you. When she feels intimidated or threatened by a man, she will use the only surefire weapon she has: her words.
And given that you are sensitive to her, her words usually work to “cut you down to size.” Not a bad thing if you were her enemy. But if you’re her partner in life, that will make it next to impossible for you to be able to protect her.
2. Please Guide Me
Okay, this one may be difficult for your woman to admit. But she really wishes someone knew the answers. And she really wishes it was you who knew. She loves it when you solve a problem for her … and you do, too! Your brain was made to solve problems, so she’s actually helping you fulfill your purpose in life when she accepts your guidance. So it’s very satisfying for you when you win in this way … finding a workable solution that makes life better for her.
However, guys often get a bum rap for trying to solve a gal’s problems for her … because sometimes she just wants him to listen. So if that’s what you want, all you have to do is tell him that up front.
Most men are more than happy to provide whatever will make you happy, but you must be specific about what you want because they can’t think like a woman … at all!
3. Please Hold Me
This one is probably the most important of the three things a woman desires from the man she loves. And it happens so naturally while you dance. (Maybe that’s the reason I love waltzing so much!) Women not only want to be touched, but they want to be held … lovingly, caringly, respectfully. Research shows that being held by someone you love will dramatically reduce anxiety in a matter of minutes! We’ve all seen an anxious toddler benefit from being scooped up and held by a loving parent. As adults, we’re no different. We all need to be held sometimes. And women need it every day!
We’re vulnerable creatures, but we often don’t feel safe enough to admit it. We often get a bum rap by being called “needy” … especially by men. And we hate that. So we’d rather not say how we’re feeling … or ask to be comforted, reassured, held.
And that’s really, really sad. Because a man loves and receives measurable emotional and psychological benefits from holding the woman he cares for. If he only knew that’s what you needed.
Most of the time, he just thinks he’s screwed something up and that she would like to have him beheaded. We need to understand why that is. I’ll be back again in a few days with another lesson. See you soon!
Learn the Truth About Love
Your love story matters. It matters because it belongs to you. It’s what you know and where you live.
Mostly, it matters to God.
What happened to you growing up matters because it’s how you learned about Life and Love and God.
Some of what you learned is true. Some isn’t. That’s what this book is about.