psychology of men Archives | Page 4 of 6

July 1, 2016June 13, 2019

Don’t Fight Your Lead!

You know I love to dance, right? Well, our wonderful friends on the Memories Swing Team offered to teach me the Lindy Hop. And I finally took them up on it one Monday. What a blast!

Because I’ve already learned to dance many different styles, I jumped into the Intermediate Class. I learned the count (6 or 8) and just followed my lead.

If he was strong and confident, our dance went smoothly.

When I danced with one of the less experienced dancers, it was a bit more of a challenge. But it gave me a chance to encourage and bless … mostly with smiles and laughter.

How cool is that?

Chatting with one of the Team members later,
I related my feelings about my first lesson. His reply?

[callout]“You’re a good follow because you aren’t afraid to let go of control.
You don’t fight your lead.”[/callout]

That’s a good idea for all of us. Right ladies?
A man is expected to take the lead in life,
and he’s responsible for the outcome.

Men need to let go of control as well.
They need to give control to the Lord and learn to follow Him.

A bit of wisdom from the dance floor: The psychology of men makes them a good lead in Christian marriage. So, Ladies, let’s not distract our men from the Lord’s leadership by trying to take over the dance. Just smile and enjoy, affirming them when they get it right.

Today’s Thought …
Don’t Fight Your Lead.
It makes warfare much harder on the enemy!

… in order that Satan might not outwit us.
For we are not unaware of his schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:11)

June 27, 2016June 13, 2019

Lessons from the Dance Floor

Whether you’re young or old, you need to learn about mutual submission in Christian marriage: It’s the Beauty of the Dance of Romance!

It’s the guy’s role to make the dance an enjoyable experience for his girl. So he needs to pay close attention to what she likes and what she isn’t comfortable with.

But he can’t take responsibility for pleasing you if you’re always one step ahead of him. You have to let him lead.

That is, your goal is to get into sync with his rhythm. And you do that for one reason:

It will build his confidence as your leader.

No, he won’t get it right all the time. And neither will you. You’re both learning.

If he’s your husband – or you want him to be – it’s even more important that you learn how to encourage his leadership, especially when he’s off a bit. You could give him feedback, but he can tell by the expression on your face when he’s off. He’s way more sensitive to that than you realize.

The best part, however, is that when he’s “off” you get the opportunity to pray for him and to trust the Lord, Who is responsible for leading your lead.

How cool is that?

April 14, 2016April 2, 2017

Couple Communication 101

We can’t stop communicating … for one simple reason! According to Communications Experts, 93% of our communication is nonverbal. Your parents told you that a long time ago when they said: “Actions speak louder than words.”

Consider Sean and Nicole …

Nicole’s Point of View: Sean was a quiet guy. And that was one of the things that Nicole found irresistibly attractive. But after they’d been dating for awhile, she wanted more from him. During a silence, Nicole would ask him what he was thinking.

He never gave her a satisfactory answer.

Then she began begging him to talk to her. He was hesitant at first. But at her encouragement, he began to open up. He offered up two or three sentences. Then Nicole got excited about getting closer. In her enthusiasm, she’d try to get more information from him.

Then all of a sudden — at least it seemed to be sudden — Sean quit sharing. He was more withdrawn than ever, and Nicole was really confused. She kept asking him what was wrong. And he kept refusing to talk about it.

He’d just shrug his shoulders and mumble, “Nothing’s wrong.”

Sean’s Point of View: He had a very different experience of their relationship. He really liked Nicole. When they first met he loved her energy — and her chatter. She was always ready to fill the silence, so he didn’t have to worry about what to say.

After they’d been together for awhile, he wanted to tell her more about himself. But he felt like he could hardly get a word in edgewise. Nicole kept telling him she wanted to know what he was thinking. But it didn’t seem like that to Sean. As soon as he would get a word out, Nicole would begin her critique.

Nothing he said was right.
It seemed like everything he said set her off in one way or another.
So he gave up.

He began dreading their time together. And started to think about breaking up.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

What nonverbal communication was Nicole sending?
Do you think she was aware of what she was “saying”?
What nonverbal communication was Sean sending?
Do you think she was aware of what he was “saying”?
What could each of them done differently?