As an official Late Bloomer, I spent a lot of years in survival mode. Struggling through college as a single mom.
Then grad school and trying to build a business.
My counseling practice launched when I got my Psychology License.
October 2007. Several of my clients were in real estate. Most were small business owners.
Economic issues hit them. Then they hit me.
Teaching kept me going financially. But working in three cities got to be too much.
So in May 2010 I left teaching to pursue my One True Passion.
Faith or Foolishness? Poor Timing? Or the wrong area of expertise?
During my post-doctoral work, I had developed a passion for helping Couples.
As a twice-divorced woman, no church wanted me as their marriage expert.
Thus far, it hasn’t seemed to matter that The Lord filled me with a Passion to fight divorce in Orange County. Because – as you can see – very little has worked in my favor in fulfilling that desire.
I held on for as long as I could. Fought as hard as I could. My resources gave out. The Father stopped me in my tracks.
During this time of uncertainty, I’ve been tempted to reinvent myself – my calling. But my Passion is so deeply ingrained in who I am that I have no idea where to begin.
So I wait. And I listen.
And I’ve learned to live in Joyful Anticipation.
The first thing The Lord has done is to show me Who He is for me. He never allows trials without an opportunity to become more like Him. In fact, that’s His primary desire for me. That’s why James said to count it all joy when we face trials of all kinds (James 1:2-8). Because every Trial has both a Test and a Temptation.
A test is God’s way of revealing who we are becoming in Christ.
The temptation is to allow the enemy to convince us of who we are not.
So the second thing The Lord has shown me is who He created me to be. From a purely material perspective, I’ve wasted my life learning about love, teaching others how to love and be loved, and never experiencing it for myself.
The enemy wants you to conclude that you are worthless in the Kingdom – and believe on a deeper level – that you are unwanted and unlovable.
Knowing who I am created to be – and I’ve heard it from multiple sources, including directly from The Father – should have made my priorities clear. But during this season of isolation – when I’ve little opportunity to work – He reminds me daily that He has given me a higher calling.
So has my education and experience been wasted? Or has it been my personal preparation to love and to be loved by this one man?
For example, don’t insist he talk about his feelings. Because he may not fully understand them yet himself.
Instead, Learn to Pray Differently
The first steps are simple.
That alone will give him more space to talk – when he’s ready. And you’ll learn the most you can about him. He may not say much. But listen to his words. And pay attention to his actions. His actions will speak loudest.
The latter steps take time.
Listen to the Holy Spirit.
Pray according to God’s will.
Because you’re not a man, you’ll need a spirit of wisdom and revelation (Ephesians 1:17) that will enable you to pray for him in accordance with God’s will and perspective on the situation. Yes, you may have some great ideas, but this may not be the best time to share them with your man. Wait upon the Lord, trusting that He cares a lot more about what’s going on with your man than you do.
Keep the content of your prayers between you and the Lord. Your man’s vulnerability is not a subject you should be sharing with your mother, your sister, or your girlfriends.
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. (Ephesians 1:17)
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)