Undermining the Enemy

If you want to stop the enemy, you need to understand his strategies against men. The quickest and easiest ways for the enemy to attack a man is to convince him that he is inadequate. And he most often uses a woman to do the attacking for him.

We know that because women have no less than a bazillion ways of telling men they don’t measure up … and thereby unwittingly usurping their God-given power.

A few ways women communicate that a man is inadequate:

  • She smirks or rolls her eyes at him.
  • She gives him unsolicited advice or instructions, saying something like:
    • Why don’t you ____?
    • You should ____.
  • She talks about him to other people like he’s not there.
  • She laughs at him when he’s not trying to be funny.
  • She blames him for whatever has just gone wrong, making herself look better.
  • She corrects or criticizes him. This one is powerfully emasculating – especially when she does it in front of other people.

Example: A while back, I was waltzing with a friend at a very festive ball, when the couple ahead of us tripped, and the woman crashed onto the floor. Her partner, who was obviously concerned, responded immediately to help her to her feet.

Her response? She glared at him, shaming him by her facial expression as well as her words. I’m still not sure for whom I felt more empathy: her for falling … or him for being yelled at in front of a ballroom full of people.

[callout]Undermine – and even get your revenge on – the enemy
by showing unparalleled respect for Your Man![/callout]

Repair Disconnections as Quickly as Possible

If he shuts you out when you’re talking, stop and ask him what he heard you say.

If he’s honest with you, he’ll tell you that it felt like an attack, blame, or criticism.
And if he tells you that, BELIEVE HIM.

  • It does not mean that’s what you were trying to do.
  • It just means that what you said got lost in translation,
    and you can try again … using different words.


  • If you’re a man, does this description fit with your own experience?
  • If you’re a woman, is this surprising information?
    How might you use it to bring you closer?

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33)