When you love a broken man, you need Divine Wisdom. The truth is, most men are relatively healthy yet also broken to one degree or another. The Truth (with a capital T) is that The Creator has a deep desire to heal every man’s brokenness.
- Sometimes a broken man is in a deadly trap that requires more than you can give. He needs Divine Intervention.
- Because his woman is also broken, she cannot save him alone. In fact, she may need Divine Intervention, too.
A Broken Man in Adultery
Sometimes a man goes outside his marriage. For things his Creator intends him to enjoy within his marriage. Most guys I’ve known who are broken in this way did not set out to have an affair. But with each encounter, he dives deeper into the emotional abyss he is trying to avoid. That’s how evil works.
Abandonment by a Broken Man
Plagued by fear, shame, and doubt, his autonomic nervous system initiates the fight, flight, or freeze response. Usually, that means a wall of protection for himself. As a result, you feel left out, left behind, or all alone. Chasing after him only makes matters worse by triggering more fear, shame, and doubt. An evil trap designed to separate you both from Love.
Addiction for a Broken Man
No man starts doing something harmful because he wants more pain. At first, the behavior is a way of coping with his painful emotions. Alcohol, drugs, sex/porn, work, or food provide a way of escaping that soon takes over his soul and ruins his life. As with adultery, each step sends him deeper into the emotional abyss he is trying to avoid. Yes, that really is how evil works.
Abuse and a Broken Man
Physical, psychological/emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse are attempts to feel in control by controlling someone else. We most often think of men as the perpetrators of domestic violence and abuse. However, a broken man may be – or may have been – a victim himself. Sometimes he’s both. Either way, safety is the primary concern for all. Without safety, fear runs rampant, which is always the end goal of evil.
So What Does Divine Intervention Look Like?
Our Creator works in many mysterious ways. Sometimes directly. Sometimes through others. What He does in your situation will depend on how He sees what you need and what your broken man needs.
- My personal favorite is the way He speaks straight into my heart, and I pray you both hear His voice in that way.
- Our Creator also intervenes through education, support groups, and counseling, to name a few.
Books to Help You Get Started
Love Must Be Tough: New hope for marriages in crisis by Dr. James Dobson
Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair by Dave Carder
One More Try: What to do when your marriage is falling apart by Gary Chapman
It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: finding unexpected strength when disappointments leave you shattered by Lysa TerKeurst
Healing the Scars of Addiction by Gregory L. Jantz
Celebrate Recovery or AA and Al Anon
Are you in an abusive relationship? Domestic Violence Abuse Questionnaire
Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger
When a Man You Love Was Abused by Cecil Murphey (NOTE: Much of this applies to any type of abuse he endured.)
- What to Do If He Won’t Go
- Christian Care Connect (American Association of Christian Counselors)
- CAPS Directory of Professional Counselors (Christian Association for Psychological Studies)
Additional Article: When God Answers Your Prayers
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DISCLAIMER: The info provided is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace a professional evaluation or treatment for emotional and relational concerns. If you are experiencing severe distress or believe you may be a victim of domestic violence, please contact a licensed mental health professional for assistance. If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.